Look What I Own At The Tone!

Now we all know about the Jones's type nuts. That has been said at many huts. Been there, done that. But there are more Looky Lous that chew the fat. They want you to be so impressed. Frankly, I'm surprised they can even get dressed.

Look at me.
Share my glee.
I've got stuff.
Can't get enough.

Not a hoarder.
All is in order.
You've been there?
Hoard to spare.

What we want,
Sure does taunt.
It allows a touch,
Or fame and such.

I've got Will Smith's trash.
Stole it in a flash.
Isn't that great?
Won't you be my mate?

I've got so dead celebrities hair.
Her name I can't share.
I don't want you to steal it.
But she had many a hit.

I've got her toe nail clippings too.
Want to see a few?
They are in pristine condition.
But it's paid only admission.

I've got Elvis's mowed grass.
I have it in mass.
It's all frozen in the freezer.
Sure to be a people pleaser.

I even got...shh don't tell.
This one is really swell.
It's Harrison Ford's used condom.
I used the force to bond them.

But that's not all.
I've got a whole wall.
Such things are totally rare.
Like...shhh..hair from down there.

Other stuff I've sold.
These things are pure gold.
Don't you want to view?
Maybe even make an offer on one or two?

Pfffft and pfffft some more a sadly such things are considered "collectible" at many a human shore. Really? Hair and trash and many many other weird things in a stash? That just scares the cat. Less impressive than my scat. Do you have any such "collectible" items like bottled Luke Skywalker gas? Best not to tell my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.