The Fiver | The newspaper-story equivalent of that nice flute bit from Grieg’s Peer Gynt

Today: Liverpool, Daley Blind, classic shirts and the evolution of football

The latest random bloke that Fenway Sports Group have dragged in off the street to head up Liverpool’s much-admired transfer negotiation department will have gone to bed reasonably content last night. That’s because Sky Sports News, the television channel now squirrelled away in a not particularly intuitive section of the planner, almost as though the powers that be have become thoroughly ashamed of it, reported that Virgil van Dijk “expects” to move to Anfield by the end of this goddamn interminable transfer window. This was dressed up as great news for the Merseyside club, though the Fiver, having given it 15 seconds’ worth of thought before switching over to the more intellectually substantial Say Yes To The Dress, isn’t quite so sure.

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