Submission Blues (in the key of Goddammit for three Writers and Guitar)

AAAH!  Every time I look at it it throws the lj user tags around and misattributes everything.  WHAT THE FUCK LIVEJOURNAL?


The LJ user tags do not reflect any kind of reality.
The original here.  Come and sing the blues.




csecooney
You send it off to Venus
You send it off to Mars
They pay for poems with peanuts
And your books with candy bars
You got them
Old submission blues


(And that's if they pay at all
Yeah, those old submission blues)


/> asakiyume
You fine-tune it with a tweaking
You nip and tuck and tighten
You take the spanner to it
And you say, now this is writin'
You lube it up and lob it out
But homeward it comes flyin'
It's the old submission blues my friend
That's what you get for tryin'


csecooney
It starts with inspiration
Divine or otherwise
Your fingers on the keyboard
And your mind walkin' the skies
You type into the midnight
Forgetting sleep or feed
You type until you're dizzy
And your fingers start to bleed


Stuff it in manilla
Slap it with a stamp
Wait six weeks with knocking knees
And cry your pillow damp
You've got those old submission blues...


What are we, luddites?
Email that shit out, man
Those old submission blues...



cucumberseed
You write your head meats ragged
you know you didn't fake it
just to holler at old Duotrope
"Now who the fuck'll take it?"


(Bet you it's a Token Payment market.
Doutrope calls them TP*.)
Those old submission blues...



csecooney :
"Now we need a gee-tar, a harmonica, whiskey and cigars."



cucumberseed :
"I hope we're not planning to pay for those through writing proceeds."



csecooney :
"No. We can start a kickstarter campaign.  'Writers Seeking To Make Their Fortune As Blues Singers.'  AKA 'WHAT ARE THE ODDS?'"



cucumberseed :
"Couldn't possibly be worse..."


(There would be a harmonica solo here if we didn't already spend our money on whisky and cigars)



asakiyume :
You been waiting for an answer
You been chewing your nails raw
Till you check the nonresponse rate
And see it's ten percent
And then you're really fuming
And you feel you have to vent
You got them old submission blues



cucumberseed :
You get that devil's message back,
form rejection nothing fancy,
midnight finds you at the crossroads
with that old rejectomancy



asakiyume :
Did they say they hate first person
Is it retellings they mistrust
How come I send 'em stainless steel
And they tell me it's all rust?
Gonna break my soul on this one
Gonna have to go for bust--
Or else just sing my heart out
with the old rejection blues



asakiyume :
"Hey, this form letter seems slightly less dismissive than the one I recall getting last time I submitted--DOES THAT MEAN THEY'RE ENCOURAGING ME??"



csecooney :
"No. dude. it means they edited their form letter."



asakiyume :
"Shut up."


(Guitar?  We couldn't even afford the harmonica.  You want a guitar?)



cucumberseed :
You stack them bricks together
you build it high and tall,
you double check each letter
then you wonder if you read
those damned guidelines
at all


(cause there's two or three that sink your story that you swear they put in after you checked it the first time)


And if you win that lottery
they'll give you your thin dime,
but lord they haven't changed their rates
since back in Lovecraft's time!



csecooney take it home!
Yad-Thaddag, we beg you
Ulthar and Vorvadoss
We'll burn every rejection
To wake the Elder Gods


Just as we make a pro-sale
And start to feel secure
Submission blues start lookin' good
When Cthulhu starts to stir


Come back, you old submission blues
Go to sleep Cthulhu!
We want our old submission blues...




*The unfortunate naming convention at Duotrope does not reflect the opinions of any of the Submissions Blues Singers' feelings towards hard working and quality publications that can pay only token rates.  We actually love you guys.  Please don't reject us on sight because of the song, keep rejecting us for the usual reasons you reject us instead.