Caught VD? Or how to publicly discuss a guilty pleasure and not sound like a raving fangirl

Okay, I know the titleof this post is deliberately lurid and should be beneath me, much like the showfor which it is a campaign slogan, but damnit I can't help myself—I lurve mesome Vampire Diaries. This Thursday begins the highly-anticipated (by me)  3rd season of this dark, angsty, sexilicious show. It's totally one of many myguilty pleasure. And I want to talk about it, like a lot, but it's kind ofembarrassing to wax poetic about a show that a)has a target demographic bornafter I graduated high school and b) whose ratings get better based on thenumber of times you see six-pack abs. However, using VD as myexample, I'm going to share with you how you too can openly and publiclydiscuss any of your less than award-winning entertainment and actually makeothers believe that not only are you're not actively losing brain cells becauseyou love it so much, but it's aworthwhile intellectual pursuit.
Based (loosely, Iunderstand) on a series of books by L.J. Smith written in the early 90's, thisproto-Twilight story of vampires and werewolves and witches walking amongst usanchors itself with a love triangle.  InMystic Falls, VA, beautiful, but tragically orphaned, Elena knows two brothers:one is her love(r), Stefan, and one is her friend, Damon—who would very muchlike to fulfill both roles. Naturally, they're vampires (hence the show'stitle) and she's human. Also, all three are freakishly gorgeous (this is airedon the CW, afterall). Now, the key to a public discussion about  VD and shows of its ilk is to steer clear ofreferring to either guy as smokin' hot, hard as that may be. Rather you want tospeak in terms of their character archetypes, those recurring symbols or motifsfound in literature (e.g. cowboys, femme fatale, etc.).
All characters can bedescribed in terms of an archetype. For heroes there are 8 broad categories:chief, bad boy, best friend, charmer, professor, swashbuckler, warrior, lostsoul. Han Solo=swashbuckler. William Wallace (Braveheart)=warrior. These days,vampires almost always are protrayed as lost soul heros—brooding, dark, tortured,intense and mysterious. And hot. Stefan and Damon are both lost souls,figuratively and literally, but they are layered with other archetypes todifferentiate.       
Stefan, whose love forElena would have him sacrifice himself and all that he has to protect her, isalso a warrior with shades of a best friend. Though he has done bad, bloodythings in the past, he wants to atone and is, at heart, a good, loyal guy. Youcan tell these things because he's portrayed by a blond, which is the universalsymbol of a "good" character in film.
Damon is obviously thereckless, dangerous bad-boy because he has dark hair and a love of blackclothing. He struggles between wanting to be good to deserve Elena's love andkilling people willy-nilly because, well, he's a frickin' vampire and he enjoysit.The object of their undying(pun intended) affection, Elena, is a former perky, popular cheerleader, but throughtragedy (after tragedy, after tragedy) now introspective and earnest. In lovewith Stefan, but also drawn to Damon, she is the fragile human in thisparanormal tug-of-war and a classic waif heroine (think damsel-in-distress),with some nurturer and the beginnings a crusader thrown in.
Now, let's say I'm withTracy and Emily and we're having an intense discussion about story arc and thelimitations of the three act structure (just go with me here, because in reallife we mostly talk about hot celebrities and food), but what I really, reallywant to talk about is the epic VD episode from the previous night.  So, I say this:I think we can agree,as best exemplified in the recent episode of the Vampire Diaries, that as it relatesto a heroine's character arc, for the romantic subplot it seems more judiciousfor a waif archetype to necessarily align herself  with a classic warrior hero to protect her, andshe must avoid the temptation of the the morally-ambiguous bad-boy, who really requiresa more seductress-type heroine to fully realize his own character potential.
Now didn't that soundall intelligent and literary and not at all like what it really means? Which isthat Elena should totally be with Stefan forevah, because he loves her morethan life itself and has abs of steel, while Damon will always be bad and shouldbe with someone equally as bad as he is. And as smokin' hot. 
Tell me your guiltyboob-tube characters and I'll reveal their archetype so you too can have publicdiscussions without blushing.