Float Like a Butterfly Sting Like a Bee
Speaking of short stories, I've been thinking a lot about the creative process lately. Maybe too much, because over-thinking and over-analyzing can make you stilted and self-conscious in your craft. But anyway, I've been mulling over where ideas for stories come from. Does everyone get ideas for stories? And, if so, what form do those ideas take? Why do only some people write the stories that occur to them? I mean, I understand why everyone wouldn't choose to publish everything, but just the process of writing those stories out…there's something satisfying about that, something that completes the thought.
And yet, once the story is written, it dies out of my brain. So in one sense, putting the dream or fantasy into a story form almost spoils it….
Hm.
Maybe spoils isn't the right term. But it changes it. I can't read my stories and enjoy them in the same way that I enjoyed the initial idea or dream. Once it's in story form it becomes technique and craft and stops being a dream or a fantasy or whatever story ideas are.
I can't see my stories as others do. No writer can. Which is natural. But also weird.
Anyway, there are a lot of yellow jackets and bees in the yard right now -- they get very aggressive this time of year -- and as I was splashing around in the pool the other day, I suddenly remembered an essay I'd read years ago by Elizabeth Choi. It was about a woman (Choi) on a hiking trip with her boyfriend. She gets stung by a yellow jacket and discovers the hard way that she's allergic. That experience changes her negative feelings about marriage and her antipathy toward commitment.
So I was thinking about bees and bee stings and wondering if I too might be allergic and not know it, and inevitably a story began to unfold in my mind starting with a first line.
"About last night," I began awkwardly.
There I floated, staring up at the clouds moving across the sky, and I began to wonder what this particular situation would entail where one guy -- probably the "I" character -- gets stung by a bee, and how or why it would make a difference in his life and his relationship with….
With Grahaem.
Grahaem handed me the red plastic coffee cup. Steam rose from the fragrant liquid. "Yeah," he said. No particular inflection, but I knew my worst fears were confirmed.
Worst fears about what?
Well, obviously I need to write an entirely different story from Choi's essay. So the point of the story must change and the narrator can't be the one who doesn't want to be in a relationship. Which means Grahaem must be. Which means that "I" (what is this guy's name?) does want the relationship.
Or does he?
Yeah, he does.
Okay. That's sort of sad. Why doesn't Grahaem want "I" when I is such a cute, funny, sweet guy? Why are they out camping -- which they must be if the steaming coffee is being served in red plastic cups -- if Grahaem doesn't want "I"?
Oh. Because Grahaem does like "I" a lot but he's already been in a relationship. The best relationship anyone could have. The perfect relationship. With…
Jase.
Who is dead.
Poor Grahaem.
He's already had the best that love has to offer. How can poor "I" compete? Plus the pain of losing that ultimate perfect love is enough to make anyone terrified of risking it all again. And "I" (what is his name?) isn't anything like Mr. Perfect AKA Jase.
And there it is. Not enough of a plot for a novella. Just a short story about a day that changes everything for Grahaem and…whatever the hell his name is. An awful day. A day where everything goes wrong that can possibly go wrong including anaphylactic shock. And yet, despite it all, everything turns out well. A perfectly awful day…a perfect day.
Perfect Day.
And that's it. Away I go, spilling it out as fast as I can without stopping to correct or fill in the blanks because it's crucial to get the bones down before it all starts to slip away.
I sipped the coffee and stared at the meadow the blue tent the fields of gold beyond that in the early morning mist looked like a golden lake in the distance. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. From the beginning -- practically the beginning -- from the first night I'd spent at Grahaem's X apartment he'd said he didn't want anything serious. Not looking for anything serious. Not looking for a relationship. It didn't get much clearer than that. But the problem was Grahaem was everything I wanted. He was thirty seven and a geologist. Okay, geology wasn't part of the dream man job description. In fact, I'd always pictured my dream man more GQ than Field and Stream, but Grahaem with his slow grin and gray eyes -- gray, not blue or green -- and that little touch of silver in the dark hair at temples and his wide shoulders and narrow hips and his confident straight stance like an old time explorer surveying the vistas -- with his easy laugh and his maps and compasses and soft flannel shirts. Short story long, I guess. I fell in love. Despite my best intentions. Despite his warnings. I fell in love.
And that's how a story begins.
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I'm with Emanuela. Can I pre-order it too? lol, I like that beginning! Gosh, ideas... it's so crazy how it all works out. Now you have me wanting to find a nonwriter and see if they get story ideas and what they do with them. I know some who pass them on to me, even though they're not in my genre and I'll never write them. But others? Do ideas like that come to them? Or are they just crunching numbers in their heads all day? Imaginary numbers for some imaginary corporation? Someone should do a study... lol.
It's true though, the story does die out of the brain once it's written, but I think for a true writer, that's only making room for more ideas. I mean, there are only so many ideas you can think about at a time, and sometimes you have to make room for more. It's also a nice idea to share those stories if you can with others. I love making people laugh and cry, I love getting those great reviews. lol, especially the ones where people are in shock that little old me, who is apparently one of their fav writers (in fanfic anyway) happened to read THEIR work and reviewed it.
I can remember a story I started when I was really young, probably middle school, and I let my mom read it. Bad idea. It was about this little girl... or maybe it was a boy, I can't remember, who's parents died all of a sudden. He was left on his own with no other companion than his dog and he began a life of traveling. My mom had to ask if there was anything I needed to tell her. Really embarrassing, I have to say. But the idea came from a Madonna song... the one about the playground, though I've forgotten the title. So, yeah, different people, depending on their background, experience, whatever, will no doubt read your work differently than you would. I guess it's just one of those things you have to accept. My parents haven't read anything of mine since.... I think I'd freak them out too much. hehehe. ;-)
Emanuela ~plastic duck~ wrote: "Is it possible to pre-order it? :)And yet, once the story is written, it dies out of my brain.
I write for myself. I wrote thousands of pages for myself, especially short stories. I am not d..."
It's true that there's a difference between the things I write and end up publishing and the things I hold back. The stuff that I don't publish continues to work as a kind of active dream state...but then again that stuff is not really ever complete. I wonder if completing things would change it or if it's the process of sharing that changes it.
Do ideas like that come to them? Or are they just crunching numbers in their heads all day? Imaginary numbers for some imaginary corporation? Someone should do a study... lol.I guess that's it. I'm nearly always running stories in teh back of my mind, testing dialog, picturing scenes...so if my brain wasn't occupied with that, what would I be thinking of? Maybe I'd be thinking of non-fiction articles. I do that too sometimes.
Maybe I would be thinking of things I read more?
It's true though, the story does die out of the brain once it's written, but I think for a true writer, that's only making room for more ideasOh yes. It's immediately onto the next story.
You know I've heard it said many times that you're not the only one who will like what you write. Thus, the key is to write first, for yourself, write what you would want to read, and for sure there are others out there who will want to read the same thing. I don't know what I would be thinking of in the back of my head if it wasn't about writing. For me, as I am now, it would most likely be about the books I'm reading, as is usually the case if it's not about what I'm writing. The idea of thinking about something not related to either reading or writing that would take up most of my time and always stay in the back of my brain, gives me the creeps. Well... that's not the right word, but it makes me feel like I would be a boring person. lol. Outside my head now I'm pretty sure I'm a boring person, but inside... not nearly so much! Which is probably why I hang out with so many writers all the time.
Jordan wrote: "Gosh, ideas... it's so crazy how it all works out. Now you have me wanting to find a nonwriter and see if they get story ideas and what they do with them. "I don't get ideas for stories. Or rather I don't anything beyond an idea. That is one way I know I am not a writer (beyond the fact that I don't write).
Charming, that's how things started out for me. I used to get general ideas. But I would get too many and then I couldn't remember them all, so I started to write them down. And slowly the writing evolved into something that resembled a short story and then a novel. It just happens, sometimes it takes a long time and other times it's like a flash of lightning. It also depends on the person as to how it comes about. But just because they don't come more fully formed doesn't mean you're not a writer. After all, usually the idea, the seed for the story is the most important part. For if you didn't have that seed, you would never get that sunflower, right?
Josh wrote: "The stuff that I don't publish continues to work as a kind of active dream state...but then again that stuff is not really ever complete. I wonder if completing things would change it or if it's the process of sharing that changes it."I feel that once something is spoken or written, it becomes an "object" that belongs to us, that we hold dear, that we can adorn or destroy, but it's outside and it's not us. When that something is inside your head, it's still yours and it still holds all its potential. So I'd say it's the sharing :-)
I'd be curious to know if you've ever "killed" a story because you sat at your computer too early in your process of creating it.
Jordan wrote: "I don't know what I would be thinking of in the back of my head if it wasn't about writing."I am not a writer, I am an accountant and unfortunately my job tends to occupy my mind even when it shouldn't. I am not crunching numbers, I'm constantly rescheduling my every day tasks.
I am also an obsessed reader so I am often thinking about the stories you guys write: What will happen? I can't believe that happened! Why did it happen? I hope that won't happen! Yesterday, with Dead Run, it was a nightmare, lol. I had to find something that involved a lot of waiting to have the excuse of reading :)
lol, I both love it when I have to find time to read that book that won't escape my brain, and I hate it too because often times finding that time is impossible! And yeah, I'm usually rescheduling tasks too, but I think about it once, go, I'm going to do X today. It doesn't happen so I reschedule it and think, I'll do X tomorrow... and then it still doesn't happen... rinse and repeat as many times as necessary. lol. That's me and laundry this week. Oiy.
Like Emanuela I only write for myself. Tons of bits and pieces of scenes and dialogues. I've never had a complete story in my head to write down. It's more like some scene flows from my unconscious through the pen on the paper and when everything that wanted to be written is on the page it stops and I never come back to add to it. But that's only writing down. I do read those bits and pieces again and again over the years and everytime it's as if those former thoughts come alive again with all the feelings and impressions. They are not lost to me but through reading they are as vivid as in the moment I wrote them down.Maybe the process of actually, consciously thinking about a story as a story, considering where to go from here, what is the beginning, what should be the end, is what turns it into an object or "product".
I'd be curious to know if you've ever "killed" a story because you sat at your computer too early in your process of creating it.This is so interesting because I just read an article on when and why writers abandon stories! I was going to write on the topic for my Jessewave blog next week!
Josh wrote: "This is so interesting because I just read an article on when and why writers abandon stories! I was going to write on the topic for my Jessewave blog next week!"We'll stay tuned :)
Ooohhh, I'd be interested in that post! I once read about someone who would start stories and then never finish them. Her interest would just peter out and then never come back. That's something I can't understand too well. I mean, when I was writing fanfic, I started a story for a show where my interest was waning, and I had to force myself to finish it, because it was posted online and so many readers were loving it, only I wasn't. I'd moved on to a new show by then. But even though I'm tired of editing my current novel and sometimes it drives me nuts, I can't turn away from it, can't put it down and forget about it. I love it to pieces!
Jordan wrote: "You know I've heard it said many times that you're not the only one who will like what you write. Thus, the key is to write first, for yourself, write what you would want to read, and for sure ther..."Ha. And yet, I think we probably ARE the most boring people in the world, Jordan. Well, not you and me specifically, but the results of writing are so much more interesting than the process, which most involves thinking and typing. :-D
It's not dramatic or cinematic or Hemingwayesque.
And yet it feels rich and active on the inside.
Charming wrote: "Jordan wrote: "Gosh, ideas... it's so crazy how it all works out. Now you have me wanting to find a nonwriter and see if they get story ideas and what they do with them. "I don't get ideas for st..."
:-D
It is endlessly fascinating to me that writing and teaching are two jobs that almost everyone feels qualified to do. :-D
Emanuela ~plastic duck~ wrote: "I am also an obsessed reader so I am often thinking about the stories you guys write: What will happen? I can't believe that happened! Why did it happen? I hope that won't happen! Yesterday, with Dead Run, it was a nightmare, lol. I had to find something that involved a lot of waiting to have the excuse of reading :) ..."
I do that with stories and books I love. I'll think about what happened to the characters after that last page or what was going on between the scenes.
Calathea wrote: "Like Emanuela I only write for myself. Tons of bits and pieces of scenes and dialogues. I've never had a complete story in my head to write down. It's more like some scene flows from my unconscious..."I do think that's probably it. From the point that the possibility of other readers intrudes upon our thoughts, the process begins to change. For one thing, we have to make it clear enough for others to follow. For another, I think it's natural to want to please, so we begin to censor, tailor the story. Maybe just in minor ways. Maybe just enough to make it possible to follow the action, but we do begin to craft the story for someone else. And that changes everything.
The change is neutral. Neither bad nor good, simply...that it does happen.
Josh wrote: "It is endlessly fascinating to me that writing and teaching are two jobs that almost everyone feels qualified to do. :-D"It's funny because I've been both, a teacher and a writer (nonfiction), and I often don't feel I am very qualified for both. Especially when I worked with students, I often replayed things that I should have done differently. What I understand is, while everyone might write, not everyone can be a teacher. If you don't love your students, you don't want the best for them, then you can't be a good teacher. Unfortunately, not many people have the patience and love to teach a bunch of kids, who, I admit, can drive you up the wall a lot of times.
I am sooo not qualified to teach. lol. Then again, I might just be saying that so I can get out of standing in front of a classroom being forced to talk to a bunch of people. Introvert that I am, it's so not my thing. Yup, most writers probably are boring... and yet... where do the ideas come from? Who knows. All over the place. But writing them down, even if it's just to note the idea on a scrap of paper does make one feel alive and interesting.
I mean, technically (philosphically?) we're filled with cops and robbers with lovers and haters, and social workers and every other character you can imagine, so maybe that makes us interesting? At least to ourselves, and other writers and readers. Certainly you can't go to the newspaper and say "I'm a boring writer! But I'm also a police officer and a firefighter whenever I want to be!" I think the cops would frown on that. lol.
Jordan wrote: "I am sooo not qualified to teach. lol. Then again, I might just be saying that so I can get out of standing in front of a classroom being forced to talk to a bunch of people. Introvert that I am, i..."I am very boring too! I don't even drink. LOL.
I don't drink either. In fact, if I go to my friend's parties, I'm the only one who doesn't get sloshed. Odd. That's me. lol.
I don't drink either and the problem is that I can only blame myself for the stupid things I say or do :)
Emanuela, that is a problem... a very big one for non-drinkers. We need to find a solution for that, or a really good excuse!
Maybe I could pretend I get sugar highs from sodas, lol
Jordan wrote: "Emanuela, that is a problem... a very big one for non-drinkers. We need to find a solution for that, or a really good excuse!"Sleep deprivation. LOL.
Jordan wrote: "I am sooo not qualified to teach. lol. Then again, I might just be saying that so I can get out of standing in front of a classroom being forced to talk to a bunch of people. Introvert that I am, it's so not my thing. "Not all the teaching is taking place in classrooms or with a lot of people involved. So you've got no excuse. ;-) I like the one-on-one-teaching of private lessons most. It's where you get a real connection with your student and may even reach the elusive grounds of teaching via dialogue. :-)
Being an introvert and all... guess where I ended up... in front of a classroom. :-))
btw: Do you see a relation the teaching job and writing? My impression from the discussions over at the Q & A group is that a lot of you writing folk have day jobs that involve teaching. Just coincidence or is there a reason?
Calathea wrote: "Jordan wrote: "I am sooo not qualified to teach. lol. Then again, I might just be saying that so I can get out of standing in front of a classroom being forced to talk to a bunch of people. Introve..."Hmm... I see both writing and teaching as similar because both professions require us explain something to an audience, make an audience see our point of view. Do you think that's the reason?
lol, I just keep telling people my brain is made of swiss cheese, with all those holes up there. I just want people to think it's a nice solid block of sharp cheddar. But sleep deprivation works too... only you can't use it too many times in a row or people start to really worry about you.
Em, you know, I never get sugar highs from soda either... and it doesn't keep me up at night, even when I drink it two seconds before dropping off to sleep. I'm odd that way I guess. But pretending could work... if you're good at acting. I suck, so I'm not sure I could carry that out very well.
Hmmmm.... well, I don't know about teaching. Yeah, I do work with teens, but I'm just the librarian. I help them find books, and let them vent about their woes when they breakup or get a bad grade. We do lots of crafty things too. But honestly, I prefer the more fun side. I hate having to do research myself... and I'm no good at writing essays. lol. I can't even do math right, so it sucks when a kid needs help with their math homework and I can't do anything cause I have no idea what I'm looking at. I was never good in school... (should I be admitting this online, outloud? lol.) And I just accepted that and moved on with my life. Writing fiction is my thing. End of story. Though if I didn't have this day job, I'd probably spend a lot more time at the Dojang and I'd have that black belt by now...
I did debate learning to teach martial arts for awhile, but as I haven't been able to pratice it as regularly as I'd like, there's no way I'll be able to teach it anytime soon. Not even sure I'd be good at teaching that. It takes a lot of skill and you have to look out for the little mistakes students, like myself, often make. ... have I ever mentioned I don't do detail very well, even in writing? Um, yeah.
So, that all came out sounding so negative and I didn't really mean it to be. Guess I'm just rambling today. *sigh*
Cleon wrote: "Calathea wrote: "Jordan wrote: "I am sooo not qualified to teach. lol. Then again, I might just be saying that so I can get out of standing in front of a classroom being forced to talk to a bunch o..."It's sure part of it. Storytelling is a way of teaching, after all. Maybe it even was the first way to go about it.
lol, at least in modern times, storytelling is the introverts way of teaching where one doesn't even have to leave the comfort of their home. But ages ago, yeah, you sat around a camp fire and told all these tales of what the Gods and spirits had done and what they'd learned from it... I mean, when there was no paper these stories did have to be told from one generation to the next, to keep them alive.
It seems that this experience changes everything only for Grahaem. This near to death situating doesn't affect "I" (whaterver his name is). Or does it? Maybe he comes back from the shock and realizes that he doesn't want to spend his life with a man that doesn't/can't/won't love him. That life is too short to be a shadow of perfect Jade.I'm not saying that this is the ending :-) Just a bump on the road. Girls and boys do love their happy endings.
But I thought that if we are hearing this story from "I" point of view, then why is there so little of him? Is he and his feeling not goood enough again? :-)
Ideas for stories come in a sort of daydreams. Sometimes there are just snapshots. Like ghosts that show themselves to you in hopes that you will tell their stories. And you tell. Because writing is like air for you. You can not live without it. And then you sit down and ask yourself questions about what you just saw. A sort of dialog with a blank piece of paper or a screen.
- What is it? (you ask yourself)
- I just saw something? (you answer)
- What did you saw?
- Someone got badly hurt from a bee sting.
- ...
There are probably a lot of "Why?" and "So what?" questions. Just to make your brain work :-)
Anyway, everyone has their own way of putting down a story.
After you finish you release it to the world. Because that's where it belongs. That's why you wrote it in the first place. To give the ghost story a voice. It doesn't belong to you anymore after that. So let it go.
Ooooh, this is an exhilarating topic! Thank you for sharing your introspection on writing, as well as your story creation process, which I find fascinating.For me, writing--from a post like this or email or meeting minutes or fictional story--is a process of clarification. Something about taking a nebulous idea (or coalescing of thoughts/emotions on an experience or a moment in time) and making it concrete enough to describe in words transmutes it. Like you said, it's not necessarily a bad thing. But the outcome of the writing will always be different from its inspiration: maybe refined and polished, or maybe layered and enhanced. That outcome will be what the reader experiences. Even if the original idea is captured perfectly by the writing... it is like that principle in which you cannot measure both speed/direction and location of an electron. To capture the idea, you need to pin it down, and you lose the dynamic of potential possibilities by doing so. That's how I see it, anyway.
As for why some ideas are written, and others not? There are ideas that I feel are purest in their indescribable, original form--too special or private to mess with, because I have that sense that they would be "spoiled." And there are other ideas that I feel are too important NOT to shape into something tangible, whether they become a proper story or not, because they need that process in order to achieve their purest form. Hence, that feeling of completion, and the desire to let it be afterward.
Anyway, that's my overly-wordy perspective. :) Also, please add my voice to the clamor hoping to read the outcome of the bee sting story idea!
Paris wrote: "It seems that this experience changes everything only for Grahaem. This near to death situating doesn't affect "I" (whaterver his name is). Or does it? Maybe he comes back from the shock and realiz..."Well, we just won't know till I write the story! ;-)
Even if the original idea is captured perfectly by the writing... it is like that principle in which you cannot measure both speed/direction and location of an electron. To capture the idea, you need to pin it down, and you lose the dynamic of potential possibilities by doing so. That's how I see it, anyway.Yes. That's very true. Until the story is actually in writing, you can still imagine it unfolding a dozen different ways, and each remains equally valid. But once it's written, it feels permanent, it feels like...oh, this was the "real" way.
I think that's why it's not easy for readers to imagine away a sad or unhappy ending. It's just one possible outcome to a story. If you don't like it, imagine something different. But that just isn't going to work for most people.
Thanks, Sae.Another reason stories don't get written or change drastically once you begin to write them is once the process of putting them into form begins, you often see how weak or nebulous that original premise was. That perhaps there just isn't enough there for an actual story.
It's always an interesting process.
Josh wrote: "Well, we just won't know till I write the story! ;-) "Such a tease you are :-) Good luck with your story.
I have a question regarding one of your books. How long does it take to create a marble statue? It seems one of your characters managed it in two weeks.
I know what you mean. I don't remember the process for encasing a body -- but it's not really carved from marble anyway, since you couldn't put a human inside a solid piece of marble. I forget what I came up with. The statue would still have been soft, I do recall that.
Thanks so much for that comment, but I had to delete it as you named the book and gave away the ending!:-P
I will say this -- serial killers do not reason the way you or I do.
Josh wrote: "Thanks so much for that comment, but I had to delete it as you named the book and gave away the ending!:-P
I will say this -- serial killers do not reason the way you or I do."
It's okay. I just wanted to know this for myself. I was surprised about the fact that a statue was ready in such a short time (a killer or not) :-) and ready for the exhibition. Just my curious mind. Sorry if I spoiled something.
No problem when the spoilers take place within a book discussion thread. It's only to be expected. But here on a general post about writing, someone who hasn't yet read the book is liable to stumble over it and have the story spoiled for them.
Murphy wrote: "It was a great meditation."Thanks, Murphy.
And yet, once the story is written, it dies out of my brain.
I write for myself. I wrote thousands of pages for myself, especially short stories. I am not disciplined enough to polish them and attempt to have them published, but this people come to me while I'm trying to sleep - usually it takes me a couple of hours to fall asleep so I play with them for a while - and night after night I straighten their story out, until it's perfect, then I sit at the computer and write it down and forget about it until I have to clean up or organize my files. It's a sort of release of my imagination, I think.