I looked for something (poem)

 

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I looked for a brush today


for my dog, thought I’d put it away


in that special place we put


special things when we mean to retrieve them


and of course that place is now a mystery


 


But it made me angry


that I couldn’t recall where that place was


so I tore at my cabinets


chest of drawers, closets, behind the towels


before I made a decision


 


So, my Saturday was spent


rearranging my belongings and in that process


threw away things I didn’t need


methodically organizing things so to clear away


the junk


 


By the time I was finished


it was late and the day was spent and while


I was frustrated that I still didn’t have


that damn brush


I was pleased of the mess I cleaned up


 


But in the quiet of mindless work


you know they kind where you think long


thoughts about important things


where you speak words you wished you had


said at the time when you couldn’t think of them


 


It was then in this midst of all of this


starting of, like I said, looking for a brush


having cleaned out my cabinets and


spoke to dead things


that I realized somewhere along the way


I’d lost my faith


 


I sat down on the floor between a stack of white


Egyptian cotton towels, two bars of soap


Windex, toilet paper, and pack


of brand new razors from the dollar shave club


and stared at the mess at my feet