The Curiously Stunted, Incomprehensibly Disjointed, Perfectly Inadequate Adventures of Nicholas Cornelius Holloway – Episode 52

“Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time,” someone had said. It got him thinking. He decided there were two ways to go. He could not wear pants, but he was certain a desperate celebrity would soon think of this. Or he could put his pants on both legs at once.

He practiced. He became very good. He didn’t tell a soul.

Whenever someone asserted something couldn’t be done he would nod and smile. The secret knowledge that he was unique provided great comfort.

It was happening now, and he al...