We are all pigs…

Today marks the anniversary of Jessica McCloud’s nativity, or the start of the A.G.C. calendar. What year are we on, you ask? Whichever one you feel allows you more freedom to party like it’s 0 A.G.C. Or 21 A.G.C.

Here are some recommendations for how you can celebrate the birth of God’s only begotten daughter (that are things you might want to do anyway):

Drink a Dos Equis on the couch while watching TV. When you’re done, drink another. Watch a nature documentary narrated by David Attenboro...