Welcome to Progressive Hipster-Doofus Self-Defense Training

If you���ve ever thought about taking self-defense lessons, and you live in the Chicago area, you might want to look in on what a group called the ���Haymaker Collective��� has to offer.

Before you proceed, however, you should know that the Haymaker Collective does not teach self-defense to just anyone. No, this is a special sort of self-defense training, reserved only for those persons who are ���anti-fascist,��� ���anti-sexist,��� and ���anti-racist��� in orientation.

You see, the Haymaker Collective is a so-called ���antifa,��� or ���anti-fascist��� group, and the real purpose of their training is to teach other lovable leftists like themselves how to effectively engage in hand-to-hand battle in the streets with fascists; in other words, with people who have regular jobs, stand for the National Anthem, go to church on Sundays���you know, real scum like that.

The nature of this self-defense training is that it is specifically designed to be different from the ���hetero-normative, masculine gym culture��� that is supposedly dominant in this kind of training, more generally.

As one member puts it, ���A lot of people think that when you learn how to fight it���s all about being aggressive and learning about how to go start fights with people. That���s not what we���re about at all.���

Well, one thing���s for sure ��� after looking at the group���s ���promotional��� video currently circulating on the Internet, there���s no disputing that their training has nothing to do with being aggressive.

By Robert G. Yetman, Jr. Editor At Large