redefining "maturity"

"There is one thing, Emma, which a man can always do, if he chuses, and that is, his duty…"

-Mr. Knightley, Emma

Honor: " …nobility of soul, magnanimity, and a scorn of meanness."

-Dictionary of the English Language, 1755

We measure people by their "maturity." This is usually defined as the capability of carrying large burdens responsibly, not shirking work, paying bills, being well-groomed and articulate.

That's all fine and important; but I wonder if we have shortchanged ourselves.

Back in the day, men and women aspired to honor, not just maturity. Honor was defined in a man as responsibility for his family, purpose in life, humility in his interaction with others, strength and boldness in the defense of truth, honor in what he did (and what he refused to do), and a consistent respect for his elders and to women.

Honor in women was pretty much the same, but was also clearly marked by graciousness and the ability to nurture strong relationships—not just with that-specific-gentleman, but the ability to keep up her friendships with girl friends, too. (Every Elizabeth has her Jane and Charlotte Lucas, every Elinor her Marianne.)

Today, I see people who are card-carrying members of adulthood with all the marks of "maturity," but no aspirations to this kind of honor.

I wonder if we've redefined "maturity" to mean "the bare minimum to qualify as an adult." And I wonder if, even people who are productive, ambitious and seemingly "model adults," lack the marks of honorable lives.

A girl who works hard and looks adults in the eye when she speaks is not mature, or honorable, if she does not make an effort to maintain peaceful friendships with the girl friends around her. A guy who works hard and plans to do something with his life is not mature, or great, if he substitutes real relationships with "networking friends."

I wonder how many more terms we've re-defined.