Why I'm Not A Hindu

Right off the bat, I want to make it clear that I mean no offence to anyone by stating the fact that I am not a Hindu, and especially not to anyone who proclaims to be one. Whether that will stop someone taking offence is another matter entirely.

Be that as it may, what are my reasons for not being a Hindu? After all, Hinduism can, with justification, lay claim to the title 'oldest surviving mainstream religion'. Perhaps it's because it's ranked only third, in terms of number of followers, on Wikipedia?

Perhaps it's because I can't decide whether to worship Brahman (the supreme spirit that pervades the Universe) as Vishnu, Brahma, Shiva or Shakti? Or maybe it's the very fact that the choice exists which I find the stumbling block?

Possibly I feel unable to fully commit to the process by which ultimate emancipation can be achieved, as described in the third chapter of the Brahma Sūtras, one of the three canonical texts of the Vedānta school of Hindu philosophy, which attempt to reconcile the seemingly contradictory and diverse statements of the various Upanishads and the Bhagavad Gītā?

Is it because I don't feel able to accept a religion which caters for such a wide array of seemingly incompatible, and even what appear to be contradictory, beliefs, including atheism, which has no central doctrinal authority?

The truth of the matter is that I don't know much of anything about Hinduism. To write these few paragraphs, I Googled 'Hinduism', plagiarised some of the stuff I found on Wikipedia, and followed a link or two. Wanna know the real reason I'm not a Hindu? There's a clue after the jump.

Hindumap

Yeah...you guessed. I wasn't born into an Indian or Nepalese family. It's a safe bet that if I'd been born into a family native to India or Nepal (countries where more than 75% of the population are identified as Hindu), then I'd have had to deal with Hinduism rather than Christianity.

Ricky Gervais, when asked "Did you lose your faith or never have any?" in an interview he gave to New Humanist, answered: "I used to believe in God. The Christian one, that is. (There are a few thousand to choose from. But I was born in a country where the dominant religion was Christianity so I believed in that one. Isn't it weird how that always happens?)"

He often makes me laugh.