Here we go again.
That was then.
Looking here at my planner, I've just realized that for the rest of the semester, we will be driving around town after school for approximately 3.5 hours every day (with breaks). I know this is part of the deal when you have kids, but I worry about all of us getting lost in the shuffle. Last time I thought it was going to happen, we fled the country.
This is not always a practical solution.
And yet, here I am, looking at all the little reminders scratched at the bottom of every single day: ballet, tap, soccer, Lego League, piano, guitar. When winter comes, replace the soccer with gymnastics and swimming. Not to mention, Jim's been working more than ever. He's on a project he really loves, but still. Our time together has changed. It will change again when I get absorbed in book business as RUNNING AWAY TO HOME comes out on October 11.
So how do we live in this place where the wheel ruts are so very deep, without getting sucked into that same brainless motion that flings us around in circles every single day? The kids love seeing their friends at soccer. Zadie adores dance (and those little floofy skirts melt my heart). Their other activities are a part of the great education they get at school. Do I pull them out of stuff just so we can spend more time in the yard chatting and watching chickens? That seems dumb. Especially when half that yard talk is me telling them they can't go inside and watch TV or play vids. Besides, I like sitting through soccer practice. Watching other people exercise is awesome.
I mean, we don't live in a mountain meadow anymore. Some things were easy to bring back with us from Croatia—recipes, memories, photographs, friendships, history, booze. Some things are much harder to translate back here in America. The hiss of distance in open space. An uncrowded schedule. The slow passage of time.
But you can't have everything, right? When we lived in Croatia, we were also bored a lot. So there was that. Here, we're a lot of things, but bored is never one of them. I suppose it will always be this pull. Learning to be vigilant about my family's time, without being ungrateful for the abundance of options we've got. But it does take an effort to figure these things out.
You have to be either here or there, right?
Or do you?
