Tip Tuesday~Anxiety ~ I can’t take the Rejection…

A key underlying reason people suffer from anxiety is the fear of rejection. It shows up in the way you may avoid conflict, stay away from crowds, have difficulty setting clear boundaries or stand up for yourself and avoid intimate relationships.

We tend to hold onto the belief that the circumstances from our past are likely to happen again in the future. For example, if your father left you as a child, you may think all men will leave in the end. This is what gives you permission to cling to your fears. But your past is not your future … unless you make it so.

I would like to suggest to you that the reason you fear rejection today is because you are practicing rejection. Yes, in some way or another, you are rejecting either yourself or others.

You reject yourself by not expressing your own needs, desires and wants in your relationship for fear that it may rock the boat. You may reject yourself by not honoring your feelings. You may reject yourself by working so hard that you ignore your needs for sleep, rest, exercise or healthy eating. Or you simply may have a stream of negative critical judgments and expectations about others that run through your silent thoughts.

I can’t take the rejection

The bottom line is, you can only fear something that you yourself are familiar with. When you don’t practice rejection, you don’t expect it from others. Fear always comes from within. Rejection always first starts in our mind. Since the world works on projection we naturally see the world responding to us as we ourselves are thinking. When we send out thoughts of rejection, we will naturally expect to be rejected. There is no other reason for us to be afraid of rejection. None.

All pain of rejection has it’s roots in childhood. Or perhaps a significant emotional event that happened in your past…It is always older than the present moment.

All  behaviours you do in the name of “protecting yourself from being rejected” actually creates the very condition you are trying to protect against. Because when you act from a place of “self preservation”, it often sends a message of rejection to others.

The only way to heal our fear of rejection is from within. Beneath all fears of rejection is a belief that we are unworthy and that sooner or later something hurtful and bad will happen to us. This is a distorted belief that corrupts our behavior. When we keep acting in ways that ‘protect us from being rejecting’, we are effectively solidifying our belief that we are unworthy. To heal, we must take the risk to act in ways that are uncomfortable.

Here is an exercise to do consciously to help you heal your fear of rejection. Make a list of the ways you have been rejected in your life and still feel hurt about it. How did they do it, be specific: they lied, they broke promises, they criticized, they controlled, they betrayed. For example: ‘my mother made derogatory remarks about my weight’, ‘my husband broke his promises’.

I can’t take the rejection

Now take each of these sentences you wrote down and turn them around. Start the sentence with I and then make the target yourself. For example ‘I make derogatory remarks about my weight’ or ‘I break promises to myself’. The second way to turn it around is to start your sentence with I and now make the target others. For example ‘I make derogatory remarks about the weight of others’ or ‘I break my promises to others’. Find those examples of where this happens in your life and be willing to change this thought pattern and behavior. This is where your work to heal the fear of rejection must take place and only here. Notice how you reject, even if it’s just in your mind. Now be open to changing this. As long as you reject, you will fear being rejected and you will continue to feel anxious.

To heal using the unconscious mind – getting fast results – we use specific techniques such as Time Line Therapy, NLP & Hypnosis.  Realize that our ability to feel whole, loving and safe can only come from within us.

Book your consultation today HERE!

to your health, happiness & success, Lynn Thier

The post Tip Tuesday~Anxiety ~ I can’t take the Rejection… appeared first on Lynn Thier.