The Break Up

[image error]“We need to talk.” I said. “There is no easy way to say this but I am breaking up with you. It’s not you, it’s me. I have changed and I don’t need you any more.”

“You can’t do this,” You replied. “You need me. You’ll always need me.”

“Not any more.” I explained. “I met you at difficult time and you made my life better. You gave me back my confidence and helped me find my way back to the person I was before things got tough. You brought me happiness and calm and I will always be grateful. But I no longer need you.”

“You’ll be back,” You muttered and I turned and walked away.

A few months ago I decided to end a long-term relationship. It was not an easy decision to make as despite a few ups and downs, we’d had a good few years together. But in my heart I knew that it was time to let go……

It has been a several months since I made the decision to ‘dump’ my anti-depressants.  I started taking Sertraline when I found myself spiralling back into the darkness a few years ago. At the time I was severely sleep-deprived, taking care of a baby and toddler and overwhelmed with financial and personal stress. So although i really did NOT want to take drugs, I figured I needed all the help I could get. I didn’t want to slip back into the pit of depression I found myself when I had PND after the birth of my first child. I did not want to lose any more of motherhood to an illness. And thanks to a combination of cognitive behaviour therapy and Sertraline, I didn’t. I got better and stronger and felt like I didn’t need the medication any more.

So a few months ago I decided it was time. I would go drug-free. But things didn’t quite go to plan…I was advised to keep a diary of my moods- so I did, although, I am not sure this is what the doctor had in mind! I didn’t plan to publish this story but as I am always banging on about the importance of talking about mental illness, I figured I better practise what I preach