I Have Failed — And That’s Okay

I am a failed author.

Okay, let me be more specific — I have failed at one aspect of being an author. That is, self-publishing.

Now, how failed, you may ask? Well, I have released four self-published books this spring and I have sold… very few.

I am still proud of the books themselves. I do not feel that they are failed BOOKS.  I believe they are written well, and I know they have good covers (great covers in the case of two of them), solid editing and formatting, and all those other things that make for a quality product.

But for whatever reason, they do not sell. This may be because they are not the stories that readers who love these genres like to read. Quite possible, as I know I have quirky tastes and don’t tend to like things that are “mainstream.” So maybe it is the stories not resonating with readers.

BUT… I actually think it is probably because I am not good at promotion, and — as I have come to learn — promotion is EVERYTHING.

I have tried. I’ve spent money on ads. I’ve attempted various social media promotions, and so on. But… I have not, perhaps, done enough. Or done it well enough. Or whatever. (I do accept that this is my fault if so!)

Part of the problem is that I dislike marketing. Not that I think there is anything fundamentally wrong with it, but… Personally, I have always shied away from selling ANYTHING. I just hate asking (aka “begging” in my mind) people to buy something they are not already inclined to purchase. This is my problem, not a fault in the system or anything else. But is part of me, and I don’t know that I can change such a fundamental aspect of my personality. Not at this late date.

I struggle with all of this because I’m a person who likes to “fix” things. I always want to keep trying — to find some way to make something work. I hate to give up. I hate to admit that I have failed at anything.

But sometimes, the continual “trying” is just so painful and wearying that it holds me back from moving onto better things. Now I feel that I must let go. New opportunities need my focus and energy. I cannot fix everything. It just isn’t always possible.

So I must accept my failure in this arena and move on. I have other writing projects that don’t involve self-publishing, and I think I need to just focus on those.

I need to accept my failure, learn from it, and keep going (but in a better direction).

What about you? Have you ever failed at something and had a hard time letting go? How do you deal positively with failure?