"Fear wears a pinstripe suit thatmakes him look so small.He chants “I’m sorry” like a prayerin a..."

“Fear wears a pinstripe suit that

makes him look so small.

He chants “I’m sorry” like a prayer

in a religion no one knows the name of,

but everyone keeps paying tithes to.

A man trying to be holy

who keeps snapping the whip

against his own back. A martyr,

but only for an audience.

 

He’s dangerous, but

you don’t want him to be dangerous.

You want him to be

SORRY SORRY SORRY

just like you are always

SORRY SORRY SORRY.

 

He shrinks–until the suit balloons

around him, until he’s just big enough

to get stuck in your throat. Until

you’re choking on him. And he whispers:

“You think you aren’t afraid of being alone,

but you’re lying to yourself.”

 

And he’s in your mouth and he is your mouth

and he’s a smooth talker. A conman and a

swindler. The boy you trusted up until

the moment you didn’t.

 

Fear is the hand on your belt and

the breath on your back and

he’s making ugly promises. He says,

“It’s you and me and ME AND ME AND ME

AND I’LL ALWAYS BE HERE.”

And he coos, “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

And he pants, “It’ll just be–us.”

 

And he says,

“I never meant to hurt you.”

And you don’t correct him.

And you kiss him

just to make him leave.”

- SMOOTH TALKER, by Ashe Vernon