Line Editing: Specific Examples

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I took these examples of revisions from a story I'm still working on. The first version is dated August 15, 2010. The second version is dated February 26, 2011. Between those two versions, I began changing this piece from a novel to a much shorter story, though that probably won't be evident in these small examples. What will show is how, as I read over my previous work, I often make small edits along the way, before I start on a new section. Sometimes I'm barely conscious I'm...