The Making of a Blurb

So your mid finger presses 'd' and now 'The End' appears at the end of a manuscript you dragged through Hades to reach this point. It is a moment for reflection and quiet satisfaction. It doesn't last long. Formidable obstacles lie ahead. Depending on how you organize yourself, one will be the book's Blurb. Here's how I went about it and I hope it can help shape your approach and diminish its difficulty.

First, it is not possible to summarize a full-length novel in a blurb and I think trying to do so is what gives so many authors agita. Once one comes to peace with this, everything falls into place. Here's the pertinent question. What formed the basis for writing this story? What is its core premise? A proper response to either question should result in a one-sentence answer. Two sentences is a kludge, a fudge, poppycock. Even if the book is part of a series. Try it yourself. A succinct answer (as opposed to a run-on sentence) is a strong indication of a tight, focused, logically coherent story. In fact, a blurb written before the novel itself obviates an outline. In any event, that foundational concept will form the blurb.

Second, a blurb must tell a story. Limited real estate, however, means the beginning will do the yeoman's work of revealing the premise, implying an unstated middle, and pointing to but not detailing the end.

Lastly, a blurb does not have to have ** absolute ** fidelity to the story. Lying is, of course, always unacceptable. But if a little descriptive sleight of hand (word?) can eliminate a sentence or two of explanation, I'm sure the pearly gates will not be denied you.

So, with 'The End' written and the real work underway, here is Seraphim's one-sentence premise.

An orphaned infant grows up among Buddhist monks allied to the Vatican and will come to defend the Church against a centuries-old enemy: the Seraphim.

With 'what' out of the way, who, where, when, and why will form the blurb's first draft.


"Tiny Yincandi lies hidden within the remote wilds of Western China. Shielded by the rugged Kunlun Mountains, its Buddhist monks come to raise an orphaned American infant. The training they provide is not just for discipline as young Trajan learns the simple villagers are clandestine allies of the Vatican. Generations of Yincandi assassins
have defended the church in its centuries-long battle against the fanatical Seraphim.

"With a worldwide religious war threatening to erupt, Trajan must choose between returning to his Christian heritage or abandoning his Buddhist principles to death and destruction.

"But things will become far more complicated than anyone can imagine. As the battle lines harden between Muslim and Jew, Buddhist and Christian, the Servant of the One Lord appears."


What we have now is a structure, scaffolding if you will. Stated in only three paragraphs, room exists for more detail and applying flourish and color.

As with any chapter, providing an early sense of place is always essential to ground and orient the reader. Here, while providing 'place', the opening sentence contributes nothing to grab the reader's attention. In a piece where every word counts, be alert to show and hype. 'Rugged' qualifies under both counts. As a sharp-eyed friend pointed out, "death and destruction"? In the world of blurbs, is there a two-word phrase more clichéd?

But, with the essentials in place, let's put it through the style rinse.


"No one associates the Vatican with assassins. That their allies dwell in Western China's Kunlun Mountains makes it an easier secret to keep. Still, the tiny village of Yincandi is not immune to the vagaries of fate. Little does a lost mountaineer imagine what will become of the infant he leaves with the villagers. Nor can Trajan, an orphan of Christian missionaries, imagine the true nature of the Buddhist monks raising him. Until the moment arrives when he must choose between Buddha and Christ.

"Seraphim, Mujahedeen madmen of the Catholic world, have reignited their centuries-old war against the Church. The continued slaughter of Middle East Christians has placed them on extinction's edge and the Seraphim blame the Pope's cowardice. Their Cardinals marked for assassination and trapped by their own secrecy, the Vatican must place their hope Trajan will stand between them and a religious war foreshadowing the apocalypse.

"But things will become far more complicated than anyone can imagine. As the battle lines harden between Muslim and Jew, Buddhist and Christian, a woman appears astounding the world with miraculous abilities and declaring herself the successor to the prophets and the Servant of the One Lord."


Now the piece opens with a sentence I'm sure very few people would imagine. The second provides 'place' as well as giving the Vatican's association with assassins plausibility. It's a secret. The next three sentences, with the help of a little fudging, further develop the story's core premise. The phrase 'lost mountaineer' can provide a literal, though misleading, interpretation. He is in fact lost, but had every intention of coming to Yincandi. And he's not a mountaineer but a priest who received alpine training as a member of Switzerland's most elite special forces unit. So rather than explain all that and twist my brain through mental pretzels making detail not germane to the premise, succinct, my special forces priest became a 'lost mountaineer'.

The paragraph's last sentence needs work before the blurb is finished. It is a preliminary attempt to provide the
protagonist's conflict at the heart of every story's drama. What terrible thing will happen if he chooses 'A'. What terrible thing will happen if he does not.

The nature of the protagonist's conflict is a complex one. He is trapped between the Buddhism he grows up with and the Christianity his parents expected of him. If he chooses Buddha, innocents will die. If he chooses Christ, he will be the killer. I want to introduce this religious conflict and not provide any indication the story may take religious sides because it doesn't.

The second paragraph implies what the story's middle will develop. It introduces the protagonist(s), the nature of the conflict/drama and points to the denouement heralding the end.

Still, to this point, all we have is another thriller. The last paragraph provides the left hook, the monkey with the wrench, the fly in the ointment. If I missed a cliche, please place it in the comments.

I've got my fingers crossed I can find an agent who agrees. Meanwhile, I've begun work on the cover. Just in case.

As always, I welcome your thoughts and comments.

P.S.

I am a non-professional student of history and not too much time passes before I re-learn a lesson learned long ago: the only thing new is the history I don't know.

As writers, we are all familiar with perhaps the most iconic opening to any piece of literary fiction: Charles Dickens' "Tale of Two Cities" published in 1859: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

203 years earlier, in 1656, Robert Shirley found himself caught in the turbulence of England's struggle between the Royalists and Independents. When Oliver Cromwell got wind of Shirley's plans to build a cathedral he sent the Baron a letter which stated if he had the money to build a church surely he could contribute to the building of a war
vessel. Shirley ignored the message and Cromwell's cronies had him arrested and imprisoned in the Tower of London where his death is suspected of having been the result of a poisonous meal.

The good people of Leicestshire completed the cathedral, known as Staunton Harold Hall, and placed a placard over its entrance, there to this day. It reads:

"When all things sacred were throughout ye nation Either demollisht or profaned Sir Robert Shirley Barronet founded this church whose singular praise it is to have done ye best things in ye worst times. And hoped in them the most callamitous. The righteous shall be had in everlasting remembrance."

In honor of those determined people, long forgotten but now remembered, and of that feeling of impertinence against authority which eventually gave rise to the country I am a citizen of, I arise each morning hoping I may endeavor to do the best of things in the worst of times.