Prolouge – Part 1 – Eleven Years Ago

"Mommy," Allison whispered. "I'm scared."

She must have been too quiet, because Mommy kept pulling clothes from Allison's bureau and throwing them into the suitcase on Allison's bed.  It was scary because Mommy had shaken her awake and pulled her out of bet way after Allison's bedtime.  It was scary because Mommy always told her to fold her clothes, and now Mommy was just shoving them into the suitcase.

It was scary because Mommy was scared.

Allison was a big girl, almost six.  She wasn't going to start crying like a baby.  That's what she told herself.  "Mommy," Allison said, louder.

Mommy kept shoving clothes into the suitcase, then, without much sense or order, she started shoving random toys and stuffed animals into it.

"Mommy!" Allison said, almost a shriek.

Mommy whipped around, her face panicked. "Allie?  Allie, honey—"

"You're scaring me."  Despite her best efforts, Allison started bawling.

Mommy reached down and scooped her up and hugged her.  "Oh, Allie, baby.  Shhh."  She patted Allison's back and said, "No, don't cry.  There's nothing to be scared of.  We're just going to have a little adventure."

"I don't want an adventure."

"It'll be fun.  A road trip, just you and me. I'll get you ice cream."

Allison thought that a drive to get ice-cream after dark might be a fun adventure, but something in Mommy's voice kept her from trusting it.  Something was wrong.

Just you and me? Allison thought.

"What about Daddy?"

"Daddy's not coming, sweetie."

"Why?  Can't Daddy come get ice-cream too?"

Mommy set her down.  "No, he can't."

"But—"

Allison was interrupted by Daddy's voice. "Carol?  What's going on?"

Mommy muttered under her breath, "Shit."

That scared Allison more than anything else.  That was a bad word, and Mommy never ever swore.

Mommy turned toward the door.  "Kitchen," she snapped.

"Carol?"

"I'll be out in a moment."  She stepped up and closed the door in his face.  Allison, wrapped herself into a ball at the foot of her bed and stopped even trying to be a big girl.  She didn't know what was happening, she only knew that she wanted it to stop.

Mommy crouched next to her and stroked her hair.  "I'm so sorry, Allie."

"I don't want to go anywhere."

She sighed.  "Honey, neither do I."  She leaned forward and kissed Allison on the forehead and whispered, "Now I want you to be a big girl and get dressed.  And if there's anything you really want to take, put it in the suitcase.  I have to go explain things to your father."

Mommy got up and left her there.  Allison didn't move, imagining if she just sat there, never stood up, then Mommy wouldn't be able to take her anywhere.  They'd have to stay then, everything would be normal, as long as she stayed at the foot of her bed and didn't move.

For several minutes she heard her parents talking, but couldn't understand what they said.  The whispers didn't last.  Eventually she heard Daddy say, "Let me explain."

It almost didn't sound like Daddy's voice.  Weak, sad, pleading, like Allison sounded when Mommy caught her doing something really bad.

"You've had over six years to explain."  Mommy's voice was hard, the same tone she used when she called her "Allison," rather than "Allie."

"It isn't what you think," Daddy said.

"You told me you had no connection to their research.  I find out otherwise.  Exactly what am I supposed to think?"

"What could I tell you—"

"You could have told me something!"  Allison winced as Mommy shouted, Mommy never shouted.  "You could have said something about this!  My God, you knew how I felt."

"You can't just leave."

"Why not?  Why not, John?"

"I love you." John said.

"Bullshit!"

Allison buried her face into her knees and whimpered.  "Mommy."

"Carol?"

"I said, 'bullshit,' John.  If you cared for me and Allie like you cared for your job, you would have told me."

Daddy said something quiet and weak that Allison couldn't hear.

"Are you kidding me?"

"I could have lost my job, Carol.  You couldn't expect me to—"

"Expect?  Expect!"

Allison heard something crash in the kitchen, and she clutched herself even harder.  She held her breath, as if she stopped breathing, if her heart stopped beating, then time itself might stop and she wouldn't hear any more.  She didn't know why Mommy was angry.  She just wanted it to end.

But even though Allison held her breath and willed time to stop, Mommy kept shouting.  "I gave up the idea of marriage so you could keep your position.  You expected me to defraud them.  I went six months without pay so you could keep Allie a secret.  I expect too much from you?"

"Please—"

"Mommy!"  Allison screamed, lungs gasping for breath.  "Stop it!  Stop it!  Stop it!"

More crashing from the kitchen, then Mommy's voice. "Allie honey, Mommy's coming."