The insidious nature of clutter
In my head I’m pretty good at managing clutter. When my grandfather died I had to clear out a lifetime of his belongings, including heavy suitcases of grade school exercise books dating back to 1926. So yeah, compared to my grandfather I am good at managing clutter.
But now I have had to clear the house in order to sell it I have to face I do not have my shit together.
I received a Lamy LX pen for Xmas. It came in a lovely presentation case. I still have the case in the top drawer of my desk. I do not store my pen in the case. The pen lives on my desk and I use it every day. The case is the very definition of redundant.
[image error]Everyone has one of these drawers, right? Right?
Why do I still have it? For some sense of completeness? A fear I will one day want it and find it absent? Why do I have six large rolls of double-sided tape? Why do I own four laptop bags, none of which I use? Why have I saved old planners? Who do I think I will be accused of murdering five years ago, and so will be required to accurately describe my activities and whereabouts on June 14, 2012? I’m hoarding post-it notes like I’m afraid 3M will not only go out of business, but take the technology with them.
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I have packed three cartons of blank journals ready to go to the storage unit that’s costing me $179 a month. There is no shortage of blank journals in the world.
[image error]Important note: I haven’t sewn anything in three years.
Some of it is perfectionism. I’ve told myself I need 15 shades of red sewing thread because if I sewed a garment with the incorrect shade of red then I’d be a pitiable loser who should die in a fire.
But more of it is I’m clinging to a scarcity mindset, rooted in a deep-seated childhood fear of not having something I would be required to produce. And fear of ignorance: of not knowing what I should have. I felt such anxiety at the thought of having to ask to borrow a pen, protractor, or pair of compasses I always made sure I had multiples of everything I would need. I would never risk the chance of having to talk to someone and be rejected. I didn’t have friends at school, and I’ve put that down to my social awkwardness. But it’s likely it also stemmed from my belief that to need help, support, or, in fact, other people at all, was a symptom of being ill-prepared and weak. I wonder if I might have been so desperate to prove my utter independence I never left room for anyone to offer mutual, supportive interdependence.
I live in a prosperous, happy country. I have enough. I do not need to cling to objects through fear.
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Stuff, the prison we build ourselves.
Vivian wrote: "Stuff, the prison we build ourselves."I feel good. Still more to take to the opshop tomorrow, but I have shifted a whole lot of stuff this weekend!
It's hard to break these habits! I'm still working on mine. Having grown up with almost nothing, I struggle with making myself understand that nothing will happen if I don't Buy That Exact Thing Right Now (replace Thing with "pen", "notebook", "book", "stapler", "shirt", etc. etc. etc.). The world won't end, I won't suddenly need the Thing and realise I'm a fool for not having it, I won't feel incomplete for not owning it. Difficult, difficult.
Teàrlach wrote: " I struggle with making myself understand that nothing will happen if I don't Buy That Exact Thing Right Now (replace Thing with "pen", "notebook", "book", "stapler", "shirt", etc. etc. etc.). The world won't end, I won't suddenly need the Thing and realise I'm a fool for not having it, I won't feel incomplete for not owning it."oh, yes, this, so much this. I feel a sense of safety when I have the Thing.
I would know i I've reached the pinnacle is when I am able to throw away that box just after I open it. So much time and space lost on where to store it and whether to keep it and how to use it.
I wished I had double-sided tape just now. I'm too skint at the end of the month to buy any and can't finish a job in the yard because it's lacking.As someone who lost her entire household once, quite against her will, I can only state that it is fucking expensive to replace things. I'm still doing that, after 8 years, and I'm still not done.
Did I feel relieved to be without "clutter"? Nope. I am angry that I have to spend a fortune for buying things again which I need. And it really bugs me, when I discover that some things are not replacable because they aren't produced anymore.
Steelwhisper wrote: " As someone who lost her entire household once, quite against her will, "I'm so sorry that happened to you, Steel.
I feel you on the need to declutter sometimes. I definitely have hoarder tendencies, and sometimes am afraid to throw things out "in case I need it later" or like change my mind and want it later, but mass amounts of stuff that just sit around are also exhausting mentally, especially when I'm already feeling stressed and overwhelmed with a lot of other aspects of life. (Only problem is a lot of the time the idea of having to commit to throwing things out/reorganizing is a lot to deal with, and my motivation/energy levels don't carry me quiiite that far)
Emma Sea wrote: "I'm so sorry that happened to you, Steel."No need to be, and that's not why I said what I wrote. But clutter is only clutter if you allow it to be that. There are more ways to deal with possessions than throwing or giving them away, organising them for example.
Because the other end of that whole debate is that every time you decide to divest yourself of something, thinking that you can always buy it again later, you are producing an ecological and economical payload. Decluttering in this manner is bought at the price of resources spent and then spent again. This is very definitely a first world, rich people problem.
I'm not saying you should keep every presentation case of every pen you buy, but ditching perfectly fine goods is something else entirely, and the number of people now wishing they hadn't thrown away the belongings of their parents or grandparents is legion. Clutter is not perforce the equivalent of hoarding.
Putting things out there does not necessarily mean adding to the environmental load. I think of it as putting things back into the market to be used by someone else and then going to that market again ehen and if the time comes of needing it again. Recycling, reusing.
I'm with Sofia, a big fan of recycling, repurpose, or reuse. Donate things until the full potential of it has been used.
Vivian wrote: "I'm with Sofia, a big fan of recycling, repurpose, or reuse. Donate things until the full potential of it has been used."The problem is that recycling not only never is 100%, it also creates expenditure. In the case of the journals or yarn that most likely would mean that there's someone buying/taking these things because they are pretty or this person herself is a hoarder or just so it isn't thrown away even if it isn't a full fit, the original owner buys the same thing again in the future, because obviously they needed this thing for a reason, and production needs to keep up with the demand created, so more such items are produced.
I'm not against decluttering one's life per se, but as I see it the only way to do it, is to declutter yourself of things you won't ever use again - and not because you currently put an activity on hold, and will be doing it again in the foreseeable future.
And sorry for intruding. I didn't mean to be debative. I've once read a couple of these "de-clutter your life" books, and to me they come across a bit as feeding the fear of some - often slightly OCD - people to become or be hoarders (fed again by those horrid shows), and also a tad like the writings of rich-man's gurus handing out solutions to problems which only exist if you make them problems. The idea of owning nothing more than a tooth brush and your wallet and being free as a bird is an essentially romantic and idealistic one. It also is an unrealistic idea for 99,99% of the population.
