For Better or Worse
I get asked a lot lately how I feel about being so open in Lost Edens about such a difficult time in my life. The short answer is: it changes in range from terrific! to not great. Currently, the answer is not great, but let me take you through the evolution.
I didn't write Lost Edens with the intention of anyone reading. I think this is the only way I was able to be so honest in writing it. For whatever it is or isn't Lost Edens is absolutely a very accurate portrayal of what the confusion and desperation of falling apart (a person, a marriage) looks like. I sometimes feel that it's kind of like chronicling with precise detail your most embarrassing moment as a teenager for all the world to read, pimples and all.
So when I decided to publish the answer to "how do you feel about sharing this" was obviously terrific! I was so far removed from the events that I didn't feel like I was sharing my life but my past, which seemed like a distinct difference to me. As a writer, the honesty of the words and the raw emotion struck me as something I'd never be able to replicate and, therefore, unique and worthy of a broader audience.
Now, though, as more people read (the book is available now on Amazon!) I find myself saying "I'm great now, don't worry. In a few short years this will be a decade since I experienced these things, since I was that person." The events might be nearly a decade old for me but it is strange to have people experience them now for the first time. I know the idea here is to approach these readers and the topic with a sophisticated sense of critical reasoning and in doing so give the support and sense of wellness I received from so many during that time, but this sometimes takes effort.
My hope really is that Lost Edens will spur much needed discussion on unhealthy relationships and the definition and limitations of marriage. My hope is for the story to help in some way. So I know I'll swing back to terrific! before too long. I think the current not great status is just me wishing I had written a joke book (I'm really, really funny. Seriously.), or maybe a cook book (I don't cook, but what a great time it'd be to talk about it!).
Perhaps for the next book.
I didn't write Lost Edens with the intention of anyone reading. I think this is the only way I was able to be so honest in writing it. For whatever it is or isn't Lost Edens is absolutely a very accurate portrayal of what the confusion and desperation of falling apart (a person, a marriage) looks like. I sometimes feel that it's kind of like chronicling with precise detail your most embarrassing moment as a teenager for all the world to read, pimples and all.
So when I decided to publish the answer to "how do you feel about sharing this" was obviously terrific! I was so far removed from the events that I didn't feel like I was sharing my life but my past, which seemed like a distinct difference to me. As a writer, the honesty of the words and the raw emotion struck me as something I'd never be able to replicate and, therefore, unique and worthy of a broader audience.
Now, though, as more people read (the book is available now on Amazon!) I find myself saying "I'm great now, don't worry. In a few short years this will be a decade since I experienced these things, since I was that person." The events might be nearly a decade old for me but it is strange to have people experience them now for the first time. I know the idea here is to approach these readers and the topic with a sophisticated sense of critical reasoning and in doing so give the support and sense of wellness I received from so many during that time, but this sometimes takes effort.
My hope really is that Lost Edens will spur much needed discussion on unhealthy relationships and the definition and limitations of marriage. My hope is for the story to help in some way. So I know I'll swing back to terrific! before too long. I think the current not great status is just me wishing I had written a joke book (I'm really, really funny. Seriously.), or maybe a cook book (I don't cook, but what a great time it'd be to talk about it!).
Perhaps for the next book.
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