5 Sorta Useful Charts for the Depressed

How to Be Depressed: A Guide offers fundamentals to master your mood disorder with minimal effort. Author Dana Eagle wrote and constructed these guided charts with insightful intros to really dig in and take your despair to the next level. Get ready to pave your way toward a successful depression.

1. QUIZ: DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE DEPRESSED?

Welcome to depression. Let’s get started.

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2. THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T SAY TO YOUR THERAPIST

It’s a good time to get the professional validation that you are, in fact, a total whack job. There are a number of reasons for doing this. First and foremost, you’ve got nothing better to do.

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3. THINGS YOU HOPE YOUR THERAPIST WON’T SAY TO YOU

The way a therapist responds to your endless jabber is not taught in schools. Rather, it reflects the therapist’s inborn gifts. The way your therapist reacts to you indicates how well he has integrated your life and problems into his own.

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4. DEPRESSION ON A BUDGET

Like a city under siege, your relationships, car, physical health, and finances will begin to crumble in rapid succession. While this proves the texture and depth for a supreme depressive experience, you may find you lack the financial resources necessary to feed the cycle of decay. Fortunately, we live in a DIY age and even a scrappy person like yourself can assemble a kit of everything needed to live the best-depressed life possible.

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5. WHAT’S YOUR DEPRESSION ALIAS?

Find your depression alias by selecting the most shameful quality of your home and combining it with your worst physical attribute. This is a scientifically proven method to yield your most fitting Depression alias. Please share your depression alias in a comment below.

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Treat yourself to more melancholia by nabbing your copy of How to Be Depressed: A Guide.