The Fiver | A job everyone else in the world knew would end in utter humiliation

In today’s Fiver: David Moyes, tributes to Manchester and ungrateful fans

Back in 2015, The Fiver journeyed to the exclusive Spanish coastal town of San Sebastián in order to meet up with our long-lost cousin Juan de la Juan de la Juan de la Juan Straw Donkey Nylon Stringed Guitar Olé Olé Olé Eldorado Tiki Taka Pintxo Sun Sea Sand Dust Fiver. What with Juan being Hungarian, neither of us could speak the language, so we sat on the streets drinking bottle after bottle of the refreshing Basque cider until we were moved on, arrested and deported. Those 13 minutes were among the best of The Fiver’s life, as we watched the world go by, catching a glimpse of how the other half live. Look! There’s David Moyes, resident at the Maria Cristina, perhaps the most glamorous hotel in the whole of Spain! See how the Real Sociedad manager swans down its grand staircase, fleet of foot like Gene Kelly, a relaxed smile playing across his tanned, radiant, content face! He really is enjoying the high lif … oy! Officer! Get your hands off! Hagyjon engem békén!

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