Denial of the Nerds (or, What Comes After Revenge)

I have to type this very, very slowly and lightly. I cannot make this a long post, or angry. Because I love a challenge.

Nerds, as children, you were beaten up, stuffed in lockers, and tormented just as badly as any trans kid. I have felt your pain, and not in a political metaphor kind of way, either. I've really been in the same bruised, bloodied position.

I am a gaming nerd myself, a lover of Star Trek (Picard 4 Life), Star Wars, horror novels, fantasy novels, sci-fi novels, comic books, card games, video games, anime, D&D, and porn (Animated or not). With the right costumes, I can even find furries sexy. I am one of you, and have slipped in and out of your many social sublayers without being made to feel like too much of an outsider. So I'm asking this as nicely as I can, from one nerd to alla y'all.

How in the hell do the most bullied kids in school grow up to become the most entitled fucking whiner adults on the Internet? A video game doesn't include the right DLC item you'd heard rumored, and you go ape shit. A woman disses the Magic World Champion, and you attack her with sexism about how one of your socially backwards gamers is really a great catch and she just can't see that. Some feminist disses your favorite sexist fantasy show, and you pull out token women to drub her about how she just can't understand you.

And, when she said she couldn't expect you to parse fine language, she's right. You couldn't be bothered to read ANY criticism of your show, deserved or not. But your inability to stop whining does not mean she shouldn't express her opinion about your shitty sexist show. It just means that for a few weeks, she has to put up with your entitled opinion bashing. You hated bullying, but you LOVE to cyber bully others. Hypocritical much? Oh, you betcha.

And you know what? Instead of whining over being called sexist, go find a video gamer girl, or a wargaming chica, and say, "Hey, be honest with me. Do you think male nerds have a problem with sexism?" Then, don't listen to her answer. Watch her body language and you'll see her squirm as she tries to avoid admitting that you nerd males are a real Grade-A bag of dicks.

"But Zoe—" you'll try to say. But I jump back in to remind you of the facts. Girl gamers frequently discuss feeling preyed upon in every gaming environment dominated by males. They frequently form all girl guilds to work against this, only to be called complaining bitches by male gamers. They report sexual harassment in every MMO, find sexism prevalent in wargaming, and can't run in any male-dominated role-play group without multiple males asking for dates. And when they point out your possessive, stalking behavior, you whine out the "I'm a nice guy" defense. No, you're not. You're a typical male objectifying a woman into a sex object without admitting it. You're using your male privilege with impunity and being an oppressor, and then you're internalizing your knowledge of how much like the bullies you've become. You ain't no nice guy. You're just another guy, and not in the good sense.

Take off the blindfolds, nerds. While you were whining about the sensitive feelings of a white adult male card game player dissed online, a trans child was beaten outside a skate park with a bat over her identity. Not by other kids. By an adult woman who felt qualified to be a member of the gender police. While you nerds whined about your TV show being critically dumped on in one person's opinion column, other people talked about real issues like racism, the need for better social protection for all minorities, and denial of rape's growing menace in society and in public school. That's what the real world has been talking about while you complained that people can't respect you for being excited about Doctor Who. (Which is a suck fest of melodramatic writing, horrid acting and wretched CGI. Even Neil Gaiman couldn't make that dog walk. Oh yeah, I fucking went there. Boo hoo, I dissed the Doctor. A trans child was beaten with a bat. Put it in perspective, and admit which is a real travesty.)

You claim to care and get really excited about stuff, but you're the excitement equivalent of idiot savants. You can only care about things that interest you. Everything outside those spheres of influence is dismissed, often with just as much derogatory vitriol as the best bully ever dished out on you. Very good, Padawan. You picked up the tool of your oppressors. And, you use it in the exact same way to keep people underneath you. Now, you're ready to accept your anger, so come to the dark side. (See what I did there? Because I'm a nerd.)

You must feel so proud of all your progress, being able to bully and objectify others for a change of pace. But you're really quite pathetic, and not one indignant protest will change the truth. Sometimes when I watch you lose your shit over your first world issues, it's hard for me to feel proud of the old times when we stormed Castle Blackthorn together.