When Does Romance End?

Recently, I did the unthinkable—I submitted a short story for a romance anthology.  You can stop laughing now.  Seriously.  Listen, if you develop a hernia, don’t blame me.

Of course, my story had a horror twist (which shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone familiar with my work).  And although the story has been accepted and will be published, I was told that I had “broken the rules.”  I was told, “It made me cry,” and “It’s a beautiful epic love story,” but I was also informed, “It’s not romance.”  Apparently, “romance” ends when two people finally come together after some obstacle is overcome.  It ends at the first kiss, the proposal, or the altar.  After that, it’s not “romance.”

I beg to differ.

Last week, we (my wife, my parents, my aunt, and I) watched Walt Disney’s Bon Voyage.  It’s a cute comedy from 1962, starring Fred MacMurray and Jane Wyman (yes, Spock’s original mother, and if you don’t get that reference, you are definitely geek-challenged, you poor, ignorant soul).  The premise of the movie is that after twenty years of marriage, raising three children, Harry and Katie Willard finally get to take a luxury cruise to France.  They had planned to do the cruise early in their marriage, but “life got in the way” (as it so often does).  There are typical (and perhaps predictable) misadventures along the way.  (My favorite concerns Harry, the dad, getting lost in the sewers under Paris while his young son gets to tour the Louvre, which is where Harry wanted to go in the first place, but never gets to go…)  There is also the potential for teen romance for each of the two older children, but ultimately, the story isn’t about the teenagers.  The story is focused on how Harry and Katie (the dad and mom) are still in love.  After twenty years and three kids.  That’s the point of the movie.  It’s about how this middle-aged couple still love each other and are true to each other after all that… life.  In short, it’s about romance.

I love Disney’s The Little Mermaid, and although the direct-to-video sequel, The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea, is largely forgettable, there is a moment at the end that just made the movie for me—the enthusiastic kiss between Ariel and Eric.  A husband and wife who have a teenage daughter, have been married for a decade and a half and still love each other!  What a concept!

Maybe one of the reasons divorce rates are so high is that we expect love, true love, to involve only rushing pulse rates, rapid breathing, and sweaty palms.  (Or to quote one interpretation of Merlin in a fairly terrible movie, “all this hair-pulling and jumping about.”)  But that’s not true love.  True love requires hard work and devotion.  It requires selflessness, not a selfish obsession with how someone else makes you feel.

My parents live with us now, and we are delighted to have them with us.  My father is very active.  He does more physical work around our home than the rest of us combined.  But he is fighting progressive memory loss.  Sometimes, he struggles to remember names and words.  I remember one evening as he lamented how he might soon not be able to remember how to perform a once-simple task.  Tenderly, my mother said, “We’re not there yet, but when that time comes, we’ll figure it out together.”  Now THAT is true love.  Maybe it’s not “romance,” but it is true love.

And in my not-so-humble opinion, true love trumps romance any day of the millennium.

Now having said that, my wife still makes my heart pound, my breath quicken, and my skin tingle.  I miss her when we are apart, and can’t wait to be reunited with her.  And she is still the most beautiful and the sexiest woman to ever grace this Earth.  She’s my lover, my confidant, and my best and truest friend.

And for some unfathomable reason, she likes me too.