Paul’s Letters, Lent and Loving People: Being Kind When it’s Hard
Loving people seems like it should be easy. But in our society, it’s not hard to get caught up in the constant contest of “who’s right and what’s most important.” How can we have joy no matter the circumstances, when our frustration, anger and hurt feelings get in the way?
I’m not always nice.
And that’s not easy for me to say. I like to think of myself as the kind of person who loves to build people up, who tries to think of others’ points of view. The kind of person willing to help anyone in their time of need. Loving people should be a snap.
But my experiences with traffic have taught me otherwise. And so have my kids. Not to mention my frustration with social media. And, well…probably a few (many) other things.
In fact, if I’m being honest, voicing my not-so-nice opinion is sometimes second nature to me.
I don’t even realize I’m doing it until someone (one of my kids) points it out to me. Because it’s easy for me to tell my kids to pray for others and to assume the best in people, but not as easy to remember to do it myself. (Although it’s SUPER easy for my kids to remember my advice when I’m not following it.)
So, when I yell something like, “What? Are you just going to stop in the middle of the highway?” to the car in front of me, I’m lucky I have my kids to remind me that I don’t know what’s going on in that person’s life or why they’re riding the break like a footrest.
And I can’t tell you how many times someone has asked me, “how are your kids?” that I’ve sighed then answered, “they’re driving me crazy.” My kids are some of my favorite people in the world. I cried when they were born. I’d take a bullet for them. I would hang myself on the cross for them. But, when asked, the first thing I think to say is what they’re doing wrong.
But God wants loving people to be our top priority.
We are told to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19) But every time I go on Facebook, I feel a rant swell up in my throat about how mean people have gotten, and I have to shut it down before I the aneurysm I feel collecting in my brain break open.
So- I go on a forty-five second tirade with my husband about what this world is coming to, and then I feel better.
For a few seconds.
But the world is still out there. The pain people feel is still real. I haven’t changed anything by complaining about it, but I have lowered my tolerance of it.
God tells me to love others, not to judge, to be slow to anger, to pray for my enemies. (And a lot of other things about being nice to people and generally being kind.)
So why is it so hard for me to do?
Paul also says “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12).
We are constantly at battle with the forces of evil. Forces that want to break our spirit. And more importantly, that want to destroy Christianity. And what better way than to make our anger feel validated?
If someone doesn’t know Jesus, their only way of connecting with Him might be through the way we, as Christians, behave. We reflect Jesus by our actions. And when we’re seen as unloving, unforgiving, and judgmental, evil wins.
So, for lent, I’m giving up saying anything unwholesome about anyone or to anyone. And thanks to my husband’s excellent idea, I’m going to take it a step further and give in to building other’s up. When I start to feel angry or frustrated, I’m going to actively seek out ways to talk about it in a healthy way. And I’m going to concentrate on loving people like Jesus did.
I feel it’s important to mention that anger in and of itself isn’t a sin.
In the Bible, Jesus showed righteous anger when others exhibited behaviors like spiritual pride, hypocrisy, greed in the temple and hardened hearts. He even became angry with his disciples. But his anger served a purpose. He was protecting God’s Kingdom from those that wanted to use it for their own gain. And his anger never caused him to sin.
I’m hoping that by not letting ANY unwholesome talk to come out of my mouth during lent, I can increase my self-awareness and, in turn, my self-discipline so that I can be a reflection of Jesus all the time. I want loving people to be my go-to response in all situations.
How about you? Is it difficult for you not to let “unwholesome talk” come out of your mouth? Does loving people come easy to you? Let me know in the comments below!
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