M. is rebuilding her porch and needed help installing...

M. is rebuilding her porch and needed help installing some
cumbersome columns today. A warm April afternoon and the azalea seemed to be
celebrating while we rolled and wrestled columns into place to hold up the roof
above the deck. The only tools I’ve used these last three-plus months have been
in the kitchen: knives, teaspoons, wooden spoons, a microplane for turning
garlic and ginger into pulp. I
forgot about the solidity of things. The muscles in my arms got soft over this
long winter, the dim interior of my mind became a place inhospitable, and
working today, feeling the weight of things, made me long to be strong again.
And there was a flicker of comfort – the first taste I’ve had of that feeling
in some time – that getting strong again was possible. It did not last, but it was there, for a moment. That things can be
repaired, reinforced, and strengthened. It’s possible. I say it now to try and
make it true.