The Fiver | Having Chas and Dave play Hot Shot Tottenham in a minor key

In today’s Fiver: Mauricio Pochettino’s rallying cry and Joey Barton’s childishness

As those who spent all last night battling insomnia by watching whatever was on Challenge TV and aren’t functioning properly today as a result will know, the early ATV-produced editions of Bullseye are something of a curiosity. The set is sparse, the mood austere. The questions are too difficult. Jim Bowen spends half of the programme tediously explaining the rules. There are no “Iiiiiiinnnnnn one!”s hollered during the prize-board round. And each contestant is presented with a complimentary brass chalk holder, which is very nice and all, it’s useful for keeping score, but where’s their Bendy Bully? Where’s their bus fare home?

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