Thy Will Be Done

“Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.” Jeremiah 32:17

I’ve been praying. No, that isn’t all that unusual. I do my best to pray daily, and I strive to pray more than the initial prayer time J.R. and I share each morning to begin our day and the mealtime blessings. But lately, I’ve had something on my heart that is simply causing me to follow 1 Thessalonians 5:17’s directive to pray continually.

Have you ever found yourself like that? So wrapped up in something, absorbed in it, consumed by it, or—as in my case now—distraught over it, that you simply can’t stop praying? That’s where I am.

If you follow me on social media or have read my devotions in the past, you know I’m a kidney donor. I can’t say enough about the joy of giving a chance at a normal life to someone, and in my case, the young man who was a stranger on the day we met and I decided to donate my kidney to him…but is now part of my family. He’s like a son. And when he hurts, I hurt.

So when he called to tearfully tell me that he was in the hospital and that the kidney wasn’t working correctly, I hurt. And I prayed. It’s been five years since our transplant, and the kidney has done fine. Matt has been living a normal life with no dialysis. He has been able to take trips with his family. He has had two sons. At the time that I write this, Ryan is close to turning three and Brooks will have his first birthday the same month as his big brother.

I’ve been praying. Praying that my kidney won’t fail. Praying that Matt will continue to live a normal life. Praying that I can be a very real part of his life, because a part of me lives in him. But, in the midst of all of this praying, I found myself saying…

“God, if You can, heal Matt.”

If You can? How dare I question my Lord? The God that created the universe can do anything He pleases (Psalm 115:3 and 135:6). Didn’t I pay attention to those powerful verses in Job 38, when Job dared to question God?

I’ve been praying. Usually, prayer makes me stronger, but at other times, like now, my prayers show me just how weak I am…without my Lord. Yes, He can heal Matt. He can move mountains. He can create. He can destroy. He is the Almighty. And He is my Lord.

And I trust Him.

I’ve been praying. Praying continually. Praying that Matt will be okay and praying that I will be okay too, that I will keep my faith strong and trust God’s plan. Most of all, I’ve been praying…for God’s will to be done. If the medical team can’t cause my kidney to work as it should, and if Matt ends up on dialysis again, it isn’t because God didn’t answer my prayers. It isn’t because He can’t do anything He pleases. It is because that was not my Lord’s will. And I will trust His will. Always. Forever.

Forgive me, Lord.


This Week: Are you praying continually over a piercing struggle? Are you or someone you love going through a difficult time physically? Emotionally? Spiritually? Do you have a loved one at death’s door? Does your heart ache, and you feel certain no one understands? Trust this: God does. And believe this, whether your request is answered with a yes or a no, trust in Him, that He knows your heartaches and, whether the outcome is your utmost desire—or your biggest heartache—God’s will be done.

Renee Andrews