Motherfucking Pirates, Part 4

[image error]wirewalking's house has decided to try and rot out from under her.  She writes amazing stories and makes really tasty cookies and caramels, and she is offering books  and baked goods to help defray the costs of, well, her house breaking.  She is offering them here
She also wrote an awesome story about zombies.

Here's the link to her story: http://nicolekornherstace.com/stories/present/

Here's the link to her tip jar: http://wirewalking.livejournal.com/229970.html


[image error]shadesong is still trying to fund the bionic upgrades to her poor clumsy kitty  who broke her arm recently.  Halfway there, but a new round of auctions is bound to go up here.

[image error] shweta_narayan is sending people to WorldCon.  I want people to go to WorldCon, too, and if you'd like to help her send people to WorldCon, you should go here .

Besides, there is a script, a way you can get in and out of a place like the Devil’s Hoof with your skin and your soul intact.  You don’t go to a dance hall not knowing the steps and Gem didn’t come here ignorant, either.  Observe.

First, she announced her presence by pinning Spider Heart’s hand to the table with a knife buried an inch deep in the table.  She learned a few things from the innkeeper and her fat, knife throwing cook of a husband, too, and this was one of them.  That’s the first step of the dance, the bow, the introduction.  It’s a country dance at first, and everyone who cares to joins, but in the moment before, there is always that pause, and then the music starts.  Gem took that moment to slip off her clogs and put them by the door.

Partners come from every angle they can, so it’s important to stay at the foot of the dance floor to start.  It starts close and crowded, knees and elbows, bottles and knives; it’s good to have another knife in your hand, and most people only bring one, which is why this dance doesn’t usually end well for them.  At first, there is ducking, since Gem’s the smallest dancer on the floor by a hand and several stone, but the floor clears out as some roll to the sides, groaning, some flee and others clear the furniture to use as weapons against her. 

By the first refrain, most of the poseurs had left the dance, and the floor was much clearer.  Gem took advantage of the chorus, while Spider Heart was still working the blade from the table and spitting curses and oaths like grapeshot in Gem’s direction, to survey the crowd still in her dancehall.  She counted five or six villains for which God would probably forgive her.  Six at first, but five after he put himself in the arc of her second knife’s journey; Gem had a third, but the crowd was thinning out for the second verse, and she figured that, by the third, the sword was going to be more appropriate for what she was going to try to make a partnered dance.