Nature of Failure & God’s Forgiveness
What exactly is failure? Is it simply the opposite of success? Is it an emotion, a feeling, or an actual state of being? Is it even perceptible in the way that we believe?
Various definitions of failure include:
Lack of success
An unsuccessful person, enterprise, or thing
The omission of expected or required action
The action or state of not functioning
A lack or deficiency of a desirable quality
Being unable to live up to a standard
I think we can all agree that these are solid interpretations of what failure means to us as people. I doubt anyone, even the most successful business CEO, is unfamiliar with the downtrodden, happiness-sucking, agonizing torture that is failure. To err is human, as they say. And boy, do I (and you) err more times than I wish to recount.
“I’ll write four pages today.” No, you won’t.
“I’ll play a couple of hours of that game and stop.” No, you won’t.
“I’m going to get out there, stop fooling around, and do the right thing.” No, you won’t.
Failure is a necessary pit stop on the road to a successful plan. You get knocked down, you get up, and then you get knocked back down again. The goal is to keep on pushing through in spite of your losses and in spite of the voice in your head telling you that you’re just going to screw it all up again.
But what if that’s not the answer? What if motivating yourself to persevere isn’t enough? What if the truth is that there are no successes earned purely by the human condition? What if what you perceive as success isn’t success at all but, instead, the ultimate failure?
In a previous post, I mentioned the battle of wills that persists between humanity and the Lord. To me, this is also important to consider when we discuss the failures in our life. Perhaps it’s a sin that you’re struggling with (immorality, idolatry, etc.) and no matter how many times you think you’ve conquered it you come crawling back. Some of us crumble under that pressure, believing that we are hopeless and without anywhere to turn. We rail against ourselves, stating that God should just give up on us and find someone who can actually follow through.
But the beauty, I think, of our Lord is that not only does he forgive us our mistakes, our trespasses, but that our relapses can be seen as part of the only plan that matters: His. It’s a misstep to believe that one should conquer all their faults or problems in a fell swoop. That’s not how progression works and more to the point it undermines the truth that His will be done.
If you could accomplish anything and everything by your own cognizance, why would you ever need Him? Or, more bluntly, you would be under the false impression that you simply don’t need anyone but yourself. It’s vainglorious to believe that your power alone keeps you afloat, that your will alone is all that matters when trying to extract yourself from sin (or even simple flaws that aren’t necessarily sin).
It’s an easy trap to fall into when we’re continually brushing against a wall. We think that if we only did this or that, if we concentrated harder, then surely that’s all it would take to smash through the proverbial brick to the other side. But that’s never been true.
For years I struggled with a particular temptation, always reneging on the promise to quit. But when I lost all hope and Christ came into my life, I found that while lingering thoughts may still flitter through my head like snapshots of a dying man, the power it held over me had simply vanished. The biggest roadblock in my life was gone from me and I was free to come to Him for anything that troubled me.
My other struggles and sins are still with me, but I am able to recognize them and the Spirit rebukes them. I may fall, I may stumble, but I live knowing that He loves me and literally died for me and you and everyone whether they believe it is true or not. It’s a beautiful thing to recognize and realize that someone cares for you so much that they bore all your burdens millennia before you were even born.
That’s powerful. That’s the Lord. That’s your Father and mine.
“Though a righteous man falls seven times, he will get up, but the wicked will stumble into ruin.” (Proverbs 24:16 HCSB)
How many times can you be forgiven? Jesus uses a real number in the following passage, telling Peter that a man should forgive his brother four hundred ninety times, but it is clear that God’s love, greater than that of any man, is infinite for as long as you truly seek it.
“‘I tell you, not as many as seven,’ Jesus said to [Peter], ‘but 70 times seven.’”
He goes on to tell a parable of a kingdom where a master wants to settle the accounts of his slaves (what we would call indentured servants). A slave begs forgiveness for being unable to repay and the king grants his request. But then the slave turns and denigrates his fellow man, turning his wrath upon them. As a result, he is penalized by the king and tortured for his actions.
This discussion is mainly about forgiving your brother (fellow man/woman) and doing unto others lest you reap the sorrow and suffering of hell. I think we can extract another lesson from the passage: God loves you, wants you to come to Him, but He will not tolerate the person who spurns Him and spits on His grace.
So because you’ve been given this grace, always pursue it in earnest. Understand that though you may fail to live up to your own expectations, you yet live up to His by placing Him at the center of your life. The only true failure is to turn away from Him and seek to harm others and yourself to get what you want.
Do not be deceitful, asking God for forgiveness and aid while showing contempt for it. Do not be the man in the parable who accepted the king’s forgiveness of his debt and immediately turned around and enacted vengeance on his fellow man.
Do not harden yourselves to the Lord. The stumbling blocks of life may cause you to trip and wander multiple times, but He will always take back those who seek Him and His will for their life. His love for you is unquestionable.
“For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
Don’t think that missing a deadline or failing to live up to a standard you’ve set for yourself is a true measure of your success. Rather, remember that learning from one’s mistakes is as much a process as it is an action. It can take months, years, even decades, but so long as you believe, He will take you where you need to go.
Maybe I won’t be a hit author with a bestseller on the front page news (not what I want anyway, really). That’s okay.
Maybe video games will always be a part of my life, but they don’t have to override my decisions.
Maybe I don’t know what I want with my life. Maybe I don’t know what His plan for me is, but that’s okay. He does.
All I know is that even when I make a mistake, when I go the wrong direction, when my thoughts linger on that which they shouldn’t, He is still there. He is always available, always listening, always caring.
All you have to do is pray.
