Writing with the Ego and the Monstrous Id

Super Ego: This would be a Christmas story and it shall have a length of approximately 40 K and the central premise is a young man who is trying to believe in goodness and an older man who thinks he doesn't have any optimism left, and they--

Id: TWO GUYS FUCKING!

SuperEgo: NO! Jesus, they just met, and one is recovering from a car accident and--

Id: LET THEM FUCK LET THEM FUCK LET THEM FUCK!

SuperEgo: We have a plot arc, you irritating sex-addled toddler, now shut up while I--

Id: You can say "cock" in this one.

SuperEgo: We enjoyed the challenge of the category romance.

Id: You can say it more than once. Cock cock cock cock cock cock--

SuperEgo: Only using one word shows lack of imagination.

Id: Penis erection dick!

SuperEgo: If we're quite done, I can have a civil romance depicting the healing force of two men in a Florida condo--

Ego: Can one of them be terminal with something that hurts a lot?

SuperEgo: NO!

Ego: Please? Like, three year ebola or something.

SuperEgo: There's no such thing. And even if there was, it's so rare we'd be crucified. Now just let me indulge in some banter--

Ego: The other one needs to be damaged.  Multiple personality disorder. A PARENT ABOUT TO KICK THE BUCKET!

SuperEgo: NO! For sweet fuck's sake, this is just two guys working shit out!

Id: TWO GUYS FUCKING, DAMMIT! THAT'S ALL WE NEED!

Ego: WITH COLOSTOMY BAGS!  WHILE ON THE PHONE TO THEIR SHRINK!

SuperEgo: OH MY FUCKING GOD! YOU! ID!

Id: Yessssss?

SuperEgo: If--and only if-- you shut the hell up while I write some goddamned plot, I'll let you watch some porn later.

Id: Can it be THREE guys fucking?

SuperEgo: It can be whatever you find on pornhub. My treat.

Id: Okay. I'm just gonna go thumb through your best sex scenes from the last fifteen years while you try to work but I'll shut up until then.

SuperEgo: Thank you.

Id: EAT SOME CHOCOLATE YOU PORN WATCHING WHORE!

SuperEgo: *mouth full* Dank boo.

Id: Mmm... fingering is my FAVORITE. And then some sucking... and some fucking... and then some coming... EAT MORE CHOCOLATE!

SuperEgo: Go away until I'm done!

Ego: What about me? Did you see this Google search on diseases that still kill people like they did in Brian's Song?

SuperEgo: Look. You're not the Id. I can bargain with you a little. I know you want to cry--

Ego: Happy, you bitch. You haven't ripped anyone's spleen out for three books!

SuperEgo: But I've got Bobby Green coming. You're leafed through my brain cells. You've read the docket. You know what's coming.

Ego: You'd better not pull your punches.

SuperEgo: Bitch, I've got plans.

Ego: Fine. I'm going to be looking up statistics on child abuse-- you enjoy your chocolate and your porn, because you and me have a date.

SuperEgo: Okay, so we've got the two guys, they're being snarky, it's a rain storm--

Id: *whispers* two guys fucking

SuperEgo: And we're not going for the easy fuck here and they're dealing and it's real life--

Ego: *whispers*  pregnant ex wife

SuperEgo: And they're doing the amicable divorce thing and she looks a little more human and the guys are snuggling and they're hot and--

Oh. Fuck it all.

It's time to blog, isn't it.

Id: Let's go to sleep and dream of two guys fucking!

Ego: Let's go obsess about all the bad stuff that can happen to people you love!

SuperEgo: Godammit. A Christmas novella. One simple Christmas novella. *yawn* God knows that those two assholes will write when I"m asleep.