Show Versus Tell by Debralee Mede

There is a piece of advice that has been repeated to me and others who write.  Various teachers have admonished me to be mindful of this even in elementary school.  Publishers have also advised me to pay heed with rejection letters that reiterate the phrase:  "too much tell and not enough show."   I shudder at the thought of hearing it again.  Clearly it must be one of the oldest rules in the writing world and one of the rules that I find difficult to grasp.

This "show versus tell" rule probably dates back to the time when people carved stories on cave walls.  Directions probably couldn't be followed by other members of the clan if their pictorials lacked the appropriate inclusions that would describe twists in the road where one might meet the next  gruesome animal.  Chiefs were known to relate histories to tribal members at the fireside with enough detail so that courage could be engendered in future warriors going into battle.

This writer still finds frustration in reading the words: "Not enough show" on yet another letter of rejection. So what exactly is the difference between these two rules of writing? And why is it so important?  At times it is difficult for me to understand and even more to describe but I'll give it a try. When I have reviewed my "temporarily forsaken works" or when other authors shared theirs, I noticed that the missing "show" is somewhat evident and that this missing piece has given me the feeling of being less involved in the material. The story somehow deserted its genuine "story quality", its entertainment value, and had just delivered a dump truck load of information.  I felt, in my case,  like I was debriefing a congressional committee on a recent skirmish.   In my case I felt as if I  had managed to shut the reader right out of the story which is not where I want a reader to be.

At times I must say that I wrote a beautiful work of prose but being left out of the action and detail made me feel bored and uninterested.  The necessary emotion that would make me faithfully stay to the end of the story was just not there; I didn't get that feeling that I had to know what happened next.  The strongly "tell" pieces made me feel like I was getting the story delivered by Detective Joe Friday in Dragnet: "just the facts."  When I have been successful at "showing", when the plot was somehow dramatized, then I felt as if I were a participant in the tale.  Somehow I became the character, was there with the character or was familiar with the character. I was experiencing the action and was being asked to use all my senses. The book was now alive.

Since then I have found that there are two ways that are the easiest ways for me "show" more in my writing. Granted I am not a seasoned writer but these have worked for me.  The first way is through dialogue.  It is important to make vivid word choices for characters so that they stand out.  If your character is a country singer it is important that the words to his songs sound like a country singer.  It is important to choose words that show emotion and with movement with attitude.  The reader is like someone who is hearing and visually impaired.  So the writer has to describe well enough to make him really hear what is being said and see the way it is being said.

Next I try to find ways to put my characters in situations that highlight their strengths or flaws and that make them stand out or shine.  I try to include what makes them distinctive by using strong verbs and detailed description so the character struts his stuff. The character gets to display his  unique traits; traits that really make him stand out.  So if he happens to be a greedy and unscrupulous physician then I will place him in a situation where he has opportunity and motive so that he can show just how predatory and unprincipled he actually is.

Narrative "tell" scenes tend to be easier to write than a more action packed "show" scene and they do have their place.  The more narrative spots tend to allow for emotional breaks than do the "show" scenes.  These scenes allow me to prepare and develop upcoming plot points and not every scene needs a detailed description: a four layer chocolate cake is sometimes just a chocolate cake and nothing more.  Bite my tongue.

As a writer I am a creator who builds worlds inhabited by would-be people; I build stories where worlds and separate universes are meant to be experienced as if they were real.  My goal is to engage and entertain a diverse group of readers.  I need to create scenes that my readers can respond to and feel.  When it works I find that the pacing of the story is on target; and when it doesn't the story is lack-luster and monotonous.  I don't think that I come close to doing enough "show" rather than "tell" and I find that I don't really see where it is needed until I start doing my editing and rewriting.  Reading is an enjoyable pastime for me: I enjoy reading a good book and I certainly want to write great ones.  Ergo I will continue on my quest for the place where all the secrets to great writing are held.  And one day I will grasp that one somewhat elusive concept called "show versus tell".

Filed under: Debralee Mede, How To, romance, Show Vs Tell, Writing