Understanding Grief and Moving Forward
They say that the only things that are sure in life are taxes and death. You cannot leave here without experiencing death. When we experience the death of a loved one, we are faced with grief. Everyone grieves in their own way. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Unfortunately, we do not have expiration dates stamped on the bottom of our feet. We never know when death will come, nor do we know how it will take us. There is no way to brace ourselves for the loss of a loved one. Death cuts deeply and leaves us numb and faced with a variety of emotions. There are no wrong emotions.
There are several books written about death and grief; however, until you experience a loss you don’t know what it is like. Each loss is unique. Grief is accumulative. Everyone deals with it and copes in their own way. Kübler-Ross describes the phases of grief. These phases are experienced in individual ways and on a variety of time tables. We all go through the stages at our own pace. Moving forward is a process and cannot be rushed. Getting accustomed to the environment without the loved one in it is often a life-long process. Their favorite song when it plays on the radio can trigger a flood of tears. Their lingering scent on the pillow beside where you last shared dreams together. You may find yourself running to the phone to call and share an exciting event with them, only to remember they are not there. During the grieving process you will experience a whole gamut of emotions. Don’t fight them; lean into them and understand it is all part of the process of grief. Allow yourself all the time you need. The rainbow offers us hope after the storm, so know that eventually, once the storms subside, there will be sunshine and you will feel joy again. Your loved one will always be with you. Your loved one will be like a tattoo on your heart and the memories will always be there to comfort you and give you courage to love again.
Reference
Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth. 1969. On Death and Dying. Scribner. Reprint edition.
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