I Almost Gave Up Today

I always try to post positive things. Always keeping my chin up and basking in the happiness of my new found freedom. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have rough days too. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, being the sole caretaker of my littles. Having made the poor choice of marrying a very mentally ill man, who will never take responsibility for his children or putting them before his “wants”.

It’s not easy, but it’s so worth it. The children are my life, my freedom from his illness has put the wind in my sails once again. So most days, I’m on top of the world.

Today, however, I was tired, hungry and feeling a little beaten down. I got to the gym and started my workout. I’ve realized there are parts of my body that have suffered from being overweight for too long. That I don’t have the money to eat properly to nourish my body in a way to combat how my new body shapes itself. It can be quite discouraging, really to know that no matter how hard I work, there will still be parts of me that won’t be the way I would like them.

It was also hot in there today, and a little more crowded than I prefer. I nearly walked out. But then I stopped and just said, “No, you ARE going to do this today.”

I took a lap outside the gym, smoked a cigarette and went back inside and worked my ass off.

I’m happier for it! I feel great, still a little tired, but that comes with the territory of working nights. I’m so glad I did!

So the next time you feel like giving up, just don’t. Remember, this is just a tiny blip. A small road block that you have the power to get over. Take inventory and remember how lucky you are.

I know I am. I have 5 beautiful children, my freedom from the abuse, I’m happier than I’ve been in 12 years and I have an amazing future. Every day is a beautiful gift and today I had to remind myself of that.

I totally owned today at the gym and will continue the momentum as the day progresses. I’m going to get some words in on Saint, make dinner for my littles, do some laundry and when I login to work I’ll do my very best to own that too!

I almost forgot to move forward boldly. That was a close one. I’m glad I remembered how awesome things really are for me. They are awesome for you too!

Go forward boldly and be awesome today and every day.