(2/2) “It’s very difficult to talk about adoption on the...

(2/2) “It’s very difficult to talk about adoption on the Internet. No matter what you say, somebody will say the opposite. We adopted Axel last January. He had spent three years in the orphanage. The staff loved him and were desperate to find him a family. We were the only ones on the list for an older child. We knew it was going to be difficult. I had read a lot of literature on the difficulties of overcoming early neglect. And we’re making progress. We’re teaching him that our home is a permanent home. We are learning that touch is a good thing. We are learning that hugs can make you feel better. And I’m learning to not put so much pressure on myself. At first we felt so much pressure to love him. It would hurt me when he didn’t want to be hugged. I wanted to immediately love him as much as our biological son. And I felt guilty because it wasn’t happening right away. But then I stopped pressuring myself. My husband and I decided to focus on basics. We focused on providing food, shelter, and education. And once we stopped pressuring ourselves to feel a certain way, we discovered that we already loved him quite a bit. It’s a rollercoaster. But I feel like we’re heading up. Adopting an older child is difficult, but every child is difficult. My biological child was difficult. Only this time, after several months, I’m sleeping through the night, my boobs don’t hurt, and I don’t smell like diapers. So I feel like I should be doing a victory dance.”

(Santiago, Chile)