The Truth About Breakthroughs
We’ve all had them—moments in life when something finally ‘hits’ or ‘strikes’ us with insight that transforms us in some way. And, as the words I’ve just used, these often follow some type of pain—a set of circumstances that creates chaos or suffering beyond what we can bear. It’s at that moment, as we collapse (or break), that the ‘through’ can find its way in.
It’s also called ‘letting go’ which is visually more appealing. But breakthroughs are typically preceded by some kind of pain.
What’s breaking? Old beliefs, strong habits, hard, crusty rules we’ve lived by and most delightfully of all, our inflexibilities. The ‘I always’ or ‘I nevers’ that we’ve clung to as if we’ll fall to our deaths if we release our grip on them. It’s only then that we realize how incredibly freeing it is to let go of them.
A number of years ago, on a Father’s Day as I recall, my husband and I and a couple who are dear friends decided to tackle the whitewater rapids of the Peshtigo River. My husband’s family has had a cabin on that river for over sixty years and no one in the family had ever taken the rafting trip. We’d watch others float by until on this particular day we decided to do it.
The four of us in our wetsuits drove to the rafting company site about three miles from the cabin. They let us choose from hordes of used tennis shoes left behind by former rafters. (I remember hoping that these were not the shoes of victims who had died during their experience). It was not comforting when we had to sign a waiver that excused the company from any type of liability, or as we listened to the perilous warnings issued by the instructors. The main thing I remembered was ‘if you fall out of the boat, keep your feet pointed toward the sky’.
It so happened that two of us did indeed leave the raft at the first major waterfall. I was terrified as I floated and kept telling myself, ‘Keep your feet up Vivian’. (I had no idea that half of the rafters fall out of their boats at this juncture, and that there’s a movie camera recording the event which they sell later).
What I learned from the video when I saw it was stunning. When I fell out of the boat, the friend who had fallen out with me was right behind me and we were both beside the boat. My husband was yelling for me to grab the oar he was holding out to me but I couldn’t hear him. I was inches from the boat, someone was right behind me to help me and all I could think about was keeping my feet pointed toward the sky so I wouldn’t die. It was pretty funny. We still laugh about it.
OK. So an emotional breakthrough isn’t quite so funny, is it? But since I keep having these occurrences in life I’ve learned to actually let them happen because there is such relief on the other side. Screaming, wailing, cursing, lamenting—all these will pass if we let them—unless we can’t let go and get stuck in them.
When breakthroughs come, they bring incredible gifts—often the ability to see ourselves in a whole new light as we move on into a more wonderful life. By the way, ‘my husband is an asshole’ would not fall under the category of ‘insight’.
While everything appears to be breaking ‘down’, know that a more encouraging way to look at it is as ‘breaking through’ so that more light can come into our lives.
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