Writing - 10 news items

Personal fears and spurious upgrades.


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1. Bear Grylls is afraid of cocktail parties

That makes two of us


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2. Parrots find 'laughter' contagious and high five in mid-air

Me too!


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3. There were a quarter of a million attempts to access Grindr from the Houses of Parliament in December

I've led a sheltered life


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4. Donald Trump may have finally upgraded his phone

You can make calls AND text.


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5. Living near the best schools "adds £18,600 to house price"

Kids cost us a fortune


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6. iPhone users should not say 108 to Siri

FYI 108 is the equivalent of 999 in India and Siri puts you through to the emergency services


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7. Russians hold curling tournaments with cars

Its about all their cars are good for


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8. There is now a muppet with autism on Sesame Street

I like that they've made the effort


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9. Bob Dylan loves the Stereophonics

Each to their own


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10. Norway is the world's happiest country according to the 2017 World Happiness Report

Okay what's the joke?


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God Bless