BRIDGET'S GUIDE TO BOY BANDS

BOYZONE/ WESTLIFE

As Backstreet Boys begat *N Sync, so Dublin boy band balladeers Boyzone begat Westlife. Both groups are excitement-free quintets who croon passionless covers of songs by vastly superior artists. Yet both bands , in their native Ireland and the gullible UK, enjoyed decades of success. Boyzone's most recognizable member, Ronan Keating, even carved out a solo career for himself. Props, obviously, to Ireland for wresting boy band supremacy away from the UK, America and South Korea but these were two groups whose powers of boredom ran as deep and wide as the broad, majestic river Shannon.