Buck up and get over It? Yeah, right.

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Buck up and get over it.

Yep, we’ve all heard some version of that. If we’re in the middle of a pity party, that might be good advice. If we’re hurting and in the midst of healing, however, it’s not very helpful.

“People are telling me to buck up and get over it. Life goes on. Put on your tough shoes. Be strong,” Paula said, with an edge in her voice.

She paused and pursed her lips. Her eyes bore into mine.

“Just how do you get over a husband? Tell me that!” she quipped.

You don’t. That’s impossible.

We never get over people. We learn to cope and compensate. Healing and recovery is about accepting the reality of the loss over time. But getting over the people we loved and have lost would mean forgetting or somehow pretending they never existed.

Ridiculous. We never “get over” husbands, wives, children, grandchildren, moms, dads, siblings, or friends. We never get over a missing loved one.

But we will get through this time. Somehow. Some way. As we grieve well, over time the grief will change. For now, we do the best we can, feeling what comes, dealing with life one small step at a time.

Here’s an affirmation for today:

“I’ll never get over you, but I will honor you by grieving in healthy ways

during this season of loss.”

As Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Be nice to yourself. Be patient with yourself. Take your heart seriously. Breathe deeply.

 

Adapted from the Bestseller Heartbroken: Healing from the Loss of a Spouse (2015 USA Best Book Awards Finalist, National Indie Excellence Award Finalist).