The Secret Fear Many of You are Tired of Hiding

Many of you harbor a secret fear. I know, because I harbor it, too. This fear keeps us silent when we would speak. It holds us back from a more verbal witness of our faith, a firmer explanation of our beliefs about people’s sinful behavior, or approaching a sensitive topic with loved ones.

The fear stifles our voices, muzzles our testimonies, and leaves us feeling less than authentic during public (and often private) conversations. We desperately want to overcome this fear for many reasons, but mostly because of love.

Touchy subjects come up in conversation at school, work, family events, church meetings, over coffee with friends, or on social media. Our immediate reflex is to retreat. We’re like conversational turtles.

We know what the Bible teaches. We know Jesus cares that everyone knows the truth. We feel Him nudge us, prod us to weigh in, to represent Him; but we hang back because of this secret fear.

When people speculate about our silence, they suppose we fear what people think of us. But, that’s not really it – well, not all of it. We love Jesus. We want to speak up on His behalf. We mostly want that more than we care what people think of us.

But, what if?

What if rather than represent Jesus, we bungle the whole thing? What if what comes out of our mouths drives people away from Him, incites their scoffing, or reinforces false stereotypes? What if we embarrass other Christians with our lame phrases or an inadequate defense of our faith? What if we just plain get our facts wrong and make statements we can’t back up, confirming their thinking that Christians don’t know what they’re talking about?

What if our inept words create dissension within the Body of Christ or cause serious hurt to another believer? What if we drive our loved one away from us?

Like Jericho’s wall, our what if’s pile on, one atop the other, until we’re trapped on the other side of our intentions, feeling small and silent. It’s that wall of what if’s that looms between us and stepping into conversational freedom. It becomes a kind of stronghold.

Our secret fear is that we’ll bumble conversations and blemish God’s greatness rather than confirm it.

We understand how important these conversations are. We’ve heard people say just one bad comment from a Christian turned them off to Jesus. Or one uncomfortable confrontation with a fellow Christian crippled them in their walk with Christ. How terrifying! Like those bad dreams where we try to scream but no sounds come out.

Our awareness of the stakes tethers us to our silence.

Who are we to speak for Jesus? Who are we to confront a brother or sister? Better to hang back long enough for the conversation to take a turn. Let our lives do the talking. Isn’t that what matters anyway?

So, we comfort ourselves with the knowledge that there are plenty of other people addressing these hard subjects. Smart people. People with gifts. God’s thinkers. Conversational hawks.

We read their books, follow their blogs, and quote them in our Twitter feeds. Here you go; we tell ourselves. This is how we’ll participate. Stammering Moses is our poster child. Speak-easy Aaron’s abound. Maybe we’re off the hook! We buy books for loved ones. Post persuasive links to our social media. Forward articles to our friends through email. This dulls us to the nudge sometimes but, never for long.

Jesus persists with His people. He persists, you see, because there are always those conversations that happen when none of these really, smart Christians are around.

Even if they were, they don’t know this person sitting across from us or posting to our wall. Not like we do. These writers speak their piece, but they can’t engage with the person asking us the hard questions, or wrestling with a sin issue, or a serious life challenge. They aren’t the one seeing this person’s face, aware of their confusion, anger, or angst.

We not only know this person’s current crisis, we know their back story. Our understanding might provide the perfect framework for a unique response, if we only dared speak.

These amazing Christian writers on which we’ve relied are like road maps – they provide an overview and a guide for directions. While road maps are useful, we can be a GPS (global positioning system), personally guiding an individual to truth by starting exactly where they are and being available to help them recalculate any wrong turn they make.

When our hesitation overrides God ’s invitation, we opt out of opportunities to shadow our Father in His work.

Times aren’t likely to get easier and subjects are only bound to get touchier. So, what has to change is us – our mindset, our willingness to yoke with Jesus, to show up where He wants to be, to open our mouths and let words come out. Better a bumbler in the act of obedience than a master at the art of hesitation.

So, let us adopt a Turtle Manifesto:

Perfect love casts out fear, so we will establish our courage on the love of Jesus.

Jesus topples strongholds. So, we will believe He has the answer to our what if walls. The walls of Jericho fell, so can ours, as we walk in obedience and shout His name to our own fears.

We’ll trust that He leads us into situations and conversations knowing full well our limitations but He never leaves us alone.

We’ll pay attention. Ask questions. Listen to the Holy Spirit. Refuse to retreat into our turtle shells and slowly, lovingly speak the truth.

The stakes will no longer intimidate us, they will motivate us.

We may be turtles when it comes to talking, but God has spoken through donkeys, so He can speak through us, too.

We were designed for these times. Let’s live to the full potential of our calling in Christ.

**If you’re interested in learning some tips and strategies for engaging in hard conversations, I’d love to have you join my focus group on Facebook. Find it by clicking here. If you’re not on Facebook, you can join my email list for tips and strategies for hard conversations by emailing me at lorisroel@gmail.com. Put “Hard Conversation Tips and Strategies” in the subject line.

The Secret Fear Many of You are Tired of Hiding https://t.co/thF5DSlSpi #Jesus #Christian #sayhardthings Are you a conversational turtle?

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) March 14, 2017