How To Write Realistic Dialogue

Hi guys, welcome back and Happy almost St. Patrick’s Day! I’ve been getting a lot of questions recently on how to write realistic dialogue, so instead of answering those emails one by one, I’m hoping that this video/post will suffice as a response. If you'd rather watch the video on this topic, feel free to click play below. Otherwise, read on!

Hopefully you know what dialogue is, but in case you don’t, dialogue is the conversation between two or more characters in your book. Dialogue has many functions and is mainly used to reveal your characters and make them seem real, advance the plot, and hint at action that’s about to unfold. While dialogue may seem easy because, you know, we talk and converse with other people in every day life, when writers actually sit down to write the dialogue between their characters, they struggle, and for good reason. Writing realistic dialogue is difficult, and there are a number of mistakes that new, and even seasoned writers, are guilty of, so today we’re going to talk about 5 major things to consider when writing dialogue.
1.       Dialogue tags should be simple·         A dialogue tag is the small phrase that tells the reader who’s speaking – these are phrases like: “He asked”, “She said”, “I responded.” Many writers worry that saying he said, she said all the time will get boring, so they start using other more intricate dialogue tags like he exclaimed, she complained, I queried. Using these more intricate dialogue tags can actually detract from your writing and annoy the reader. If you’re trying to get a point across, show it through an action. For example, if someone is angry, you could say: “Fine. Have it your way then,” Joe said as he slammed the door behind him. Now you could also use snarled, snapped, or barked here if you wanted to and it would still read well, but “said” works just fine. By his action of slamming the door, the reader can interpret that Joe is angry and/or upset, so using a more intricate word may seem redundant. ·         But if you just wrote the phrase without the action behind it, a more intricate dialogue tag will help get Joe’s mood across. “Fine. Have it your way then,” Joe snapped. Without the action, using “snapped” instead of “said” can help the reader discern Joe’s tone. But, as a general rule of thumb, the simple tags are the best. Readers barely notice them, except to register who’s speaking.
2.       Spread out the use of your characters’ names·         In real life conversations, we don’t use people’s names all the time. “Hi John, how are you today?” “Oh, I’m good, Kristen, thanks for asking. How are you?” “Well, John, I’ve seen better days.” We normally say people’s names when we first greet them or when we’re saying goodbye, but we don’t use their name every time we say something to them. Same goes for the dialogue in your book. Inserting the less obtrusive simple dialogue tags like he said and she said help you to avoid using your character’s names more than you should.
3.       Ensure your characters don’t sound the same·         In real life, we’re all different and have different ways of speaking. I’ve been told I have a more formal way of speaking, whereas I’ve met people, especially living in the South, who tend to slur their words together or use phrases I’ve never heard of before. The one that sticks out the most in my mind when I first moved to Texas was “I’m fixing to . . .” which means that they’re getting ready to do something, and of course, the blending of you all to make the infamous y’all. For each character, try to think about any habitual phrases they use, what words they don’t use, and how eloquent or polite their speech is, or maybe it isn’t at all! In The Alpha Drive, Emery tends to be well-spoken and eloquent in her dialogue, whereas Torin is a little more unpolished and uses phrases like Holy Smokes and Geez. Teenagers are likely to sound less mature than adults and grandparents. Everyone should sound different, so make sure your dialogue reflects that.
4.       Don’t spell everything out·         Some writers worry that readers won’t fully understand the dialogue and decide to spell things out. For example: “Fine. Have it your way then,” Joe said as he slammed the door behind him. He was furious with his girlfriend – she could be so unfair at times. We don’t need that last sentence. His action (slamming the door) shows that he’s angry or upset. The last line is irrelevant and may irritate readers more than anything else. Your readers are perfectly capable of understanding subtext and picking up on small cues. Trust me, they can figure out the thoughts and emotions behind what your characters are saying, so let them.
5.       Find the balance between formal and realistic dialogue·         I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but real people don’t speak the way textbooks read. We’re human, and, especially in America, we use slang words, we make up words, and we roll words together. Great examples of this are “I dunno” “Whatcha doin?” “How are ya?” Using words like “So hype” for being excited or “riding shotgun” which means sitting in the front passenger’s seat, or phrases like “piece of cake” which is a metaphor to describe something that is easy or effortless. These may seem like every day phrases to you, but I can assure you, in other parts of the world, they’re not so common. Should you use phrases like these in your dialogue? Sure. But overdoing it might make the reader feel as though the conversations are unrealistic and too informal. Do they speak in code all the time? So make sure you watch out for that.·         By the same token, you want to make sure you’re dialogue isn’t too realistic. People tend to say um, like, so, err, wellll– you get the picture – while they’re speaking. If your character is nervous and is stammering, it’s okay to show this by having them say Um or Err. Just make sure you break it up a bit throughout your writing, otherwise your dialogue could severely impact the flow of your story and your readers may find it almost unreadable. And a book is supposed to be readable, am I right?
As with everything else, mastering the art of writing realistic dialogue will take time. I’ve written 4 books and to this day, the one thing I still adjust the most during the editing phase is dialogue. So if you finish your first draft and are reading through it, don’t be disheartened if the conversations between your characters seem a little too formal or slightly unrealistic. That’s what the editing phase is for. Remember, the first draft is just you telling yourself the story. When you edit, you can really polish the story and make it shine.

So there you have it, five things to consider when writing realistic dialogue. If you liked the content today, please thumbs up and subscribe to my channel.



Until next time,