Faux News Network Interviews Hank Quense

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Marcia Hammerhead: Once again, I have the distasteful chore of interviewing my least favorite author, Hank Quense:.  This time around, I hope he hasn't destroyed another Shakespearian play.  Mr Quense, what work of art have you trashed this time?

Hank Quense:  Hi Marcia.  Thank you for the warm welcome.  This time I rewrote an old legend known as the Rhinegold. It's called Brunnhilde's Quest.

MH: So tell us about his myth.

HQ: The myth takes place in Northern Germany during the Dark Ages.  The Rhinegold is a horde of gold[image error]with magical properties.  One of those properties is that it keeps Wotan and the other gods from aging.  A dwarf named Albrecht finds the gold, and fashions it into a ring of immense power.  Eventually the Ring is cursed and prevents Wotan from stealing it back; it has to be freely given to him in order to negate the curse. To accomplish that, he plans to breed an old-fashioned hero, one strong in arm and short on brains.

MH: Isn't that the story behind Richard Wagner's great opus, the Ring Cycle of Operas?

HQ: It is.  My version of the myth isn't nearly as depressing as Wagner's version.

MH: Wagner virtually owns the Rhinegold myth.  No one ever heard of it until he used in his Ring Cycle.  How dare you change it at this late date?

HQ: Wagner's ending was terrible.  It was nonsensical.  Wagner could compose great music, but he was a terrible story teller.  I used my story telling skills to improve the ending.  I actually have a semi-happy ending whereas Wagner's ending was depressing.

MH: I suppose your story makes the god, Wotan, look foolish and comical.

HQ:  So?  He deserves it.  Wotan was a dirty old man. Well, more accurately, a dirty old god.   And a murderous one besides.

MH: Obviously, you can't develop your own stories so you steal them from others.  That is so despicable.

HQ: Not true.  Many readers believe I improve the stories and they thank me for doing so

MH: What a terrible development! Encouraging you will only make you desecrate more works of art.

HQ: That's true.  As soon as we finish here, I have to get back to rewriting Hamlet and Othello, my newest work.

MH: You, an unknown scribbler, dare to think you can improve on the old masters such as Shakespeare and Wagner?  Such chutzpah!

HQ: I think these old stories needed to be updated for modern readers.  In my opinion, I introduce these stories to an entire new generation of readers.

MH: I can't stand this anymore.  This interview is over.

HQ: I had fun Marcia.  Let's do this again.

Author's note (post interview):  Get a copy of Brunnhilde's Quest and see if you agree with Marcia or me.  Http://hankquense.com/BQ-ebook.html

Leave a comment to tell me who you agree with.

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