Our Top Picks for A Calm, Practical Pregnancy
Friends occasionally ask for recommendations for pregnancy and I’m always meaning to consolidate mine into one, easily-accessed blog post. Well, I figured now was the time to do it: while I’m pregnant (so it’s on my mind) and before the baby comes and all my energy is consumed with him/her!
Without further ado: the pregnancy recommendations from LMLD: we like to keep things simple, to be prepared, to be informed, and work with a tight budget…
To read:
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth
It’s hard for me to express how important this book is. So bear with me, as this first item is the longest:
“My most fervent prayer for all pregnant women is that they read this book and heed its wisdom.” This is the quotation on the front cover of the book, from a certain Christine Northrop, MD — and I can only echo it here.
Whenever a friend is expecting her first or trying to get a better grasp on the whole idea of childbirth (and especially if she has had negative experiences with birth before or dreads birthing), this is the book I most want her to read. If she had to set aside all other books to prepare her for birth, this would be the pick. To be fair, I want all women to read it and, for that matter, all doctors, nurses, medical researchers… you get the idea. Ina May Gaskin is an amazing force in restoring the lost collective memory of midwifery wisdom. So many of us postmodern women are suffering and fearing through childbirth in ways that we just wouldn’t have to if Gaskin’s advice were widely adopted. This is easily one of the most formative books I’ve ever read on any topic.
The first section is simply a collection of birth stories from mothers, most of whom gave birth at Gaskin’s midwifery/birth center community. This alone is a powerful resource for getting your head out of the negative model of birth presented by pretty much all shows and movies you’ve ever seen and into a peaceful, empowering place that acknowledges that your body was made for this. The latter sections are Gaskin’s instruction and explanation regarding healthy childbirth; and presentation of her research that bears on giving birth in our culture. It is packed with information you should have before you head to wherever you’re heading to give birth to your baby. (Including an encouraging chapter regarding VBAC!)
Now, this is not to say that I’m 100% on board with everything that Gaskin says (for instance, she has done a lot to help women in crisis pregnancies! But, regretfully, she thinks that abortion shouldn’t be illegal), but I think the intelligent woman can filter these matters along the way and benefit from her vision, her rigorous research, her intuition, and her vast experience. Read it.
Auntie Leila has a post in which she has discussed books that will help you get ready for a newborn: Ask Auntie Leila: Please Attach Syllabus for Life 101. While you’re pregnant, resting and reading are good activities — they promote bonding with the baby and getting your mind ready for what’s ahead. You can check out the whole “foundational” category when you’re done with that post and its reading recommendations!
Do Chocolate Lovers have Sweeter Babies? The Surprising Science of Pregnancy
I wouldn’t go to this as a serious scientific resource, because it’s really nothing more than a collection of synthesis and commentary on various studies regarding pregnancy and babies – and we all know that sifting through studies is a tricky task. However, the author doesn’t take herself too seriously (I think it’s clear that she knows what she is and isn’t doing as far as research presentation) and it is chock full of interesting, fun, and helpful information. I especially appreciated her whole section on ‘The Golden Hour’ and learning about how very important it is to bond with your baby immediately following birth and in the first weeks postpartum. I categorize this not as an essential read like Ina May Gaskin, but a good way to be more informed about what’s going on with you, your body, and your baby on this journey.
NB: I don’t remember in great detail, but I do recall at least a little bit of objectionable material. Again: filter recommended.
To watch:
Babies
This documentary is an hour and 19 min – a small commitment for a big payoff. It simply follows a handful of babies from different parts of the world from birth until age 1. No narration, no commentary, just fascinating footage. An incredible glimpse at the vast differences between ways of bringing babies into this world, it gave me a huge dose of perspective before I began my mothering. It’s very helpful to be reminded that the expectations we are facing as postmodern American women are not universal, nor are they necessarily reasonable! I think that seeing this film definitely empowered me to be the kind of mom who’s open to breaking some rules in deciding what’s best for my child.
Plus, it’s cute. A little stressful at times too, but no more so than having an actual baby to watch out for!
To consume:
Thorne Research Prenatal Vitamins
I used to use NewChapter Organic prenatal vitamins after my sister-in-law Natasha recommended them. They were awesome: tons of nutrition without any downsides (most notably, easy enough on the tummy to take before breakfast). However, I did find that Thorne is another brand that I trust and which is very easily digested (also even on an empty stomach), but more budget-friendly. So that’s what I go with these days.
Floradix
When the iron levels get low, as they are wont to do during pregnancy, life is much harder to handle. Not to mention that low iron levels can raise medical concerns for the baby. So a supplement can be necessary, and if so, we recommend Floradix. It tastes funny sometimes (I think that it tastes different depending on how much one needs it – but note that it’s available in pill form as well), but, unlike other iron supplements, it doesn’t constipate. And it works.* You will likely need it in your post-partum days, as well.
*Sometimes low iron is overlooked. Here are some signs: extreme tiredness, such that even resting doesn’t help, nor does caffeine; constant eating (since eating is often a substitute for resting); the desire to chew on ice; pale lower inner eyelids (pull down on the skin below your eyelid and take a peek — it should be rosy pink).
Fem-dophilus
Fem-dophilus is what my midwife recommends towards the end of pregnancy as a means of avoiding the Group B Strep diagnosis that can require antibiotics during childbirth. It’s not a guarantee, but it’s nice to have something proactive to do to help avoid antibiotics and keep birthing as simple as possible!
Dates
Apparently, eating dates can contribute to easier and faster labor! Plus: they’re delicious. I mean, there’s really no downside here. I just get them at the grocery store!
Red Raspberry Leaves/Tea
Red Raspberry Leaf is an herbal supplement that supports a healthy and strong uterus, so it’s a good thing to get on your side in the months leading up to birth. You can buy it as a tea and drink a cup a day (and it’s delicious, especially iced) or simply pop it in capsule form.
High-protein/high-healthy-fat snacks for the car/purse
When you’re pregnant, hunger can creep up on you and turn you either into a monster or into a rapidly wilting leaf. Have some healthy options handy for when you’re out and about so that you don’t experience a meltdown on the go. (In my experience, during the first trimester, queasiness sets in whenever I let myself get even close to hungry and then suddenly any food can be repulsive – so it’s important to stay ahead of that curve.) Trail mix is a good example.
To wear:
Here I try to list a few staple items that are worth investing in. There are additional items that you’ll need (various tops, for example) but are easier to find second-hand. This section is what I would say is worth seeking out in particular, whether from a store, catalog, or by asking around among friends:
B-band/Tummy Sleeve
This is the secret weapon to extending your normal wardrobe partway into your second trimester (depending on how quickly your tummy pops!). When you’re looking too “swell” to zip your normal pants but they fit you ok otherwise, just pop this band over the top of your pants and voila! you have added on a flexible maternity panel and bought a few more weeks before having to enter the dreaded realm of “maternity clothes shopping.” Available at various stores.
Maternity Leggings
If your pregnancy will span the cold months, a pair of leggings is worth it. Layer them under dresses, long sweaters, and tunic tops for three-season wardrobe options. I got my Gap pair at a consignment store. These have been indispensable for me during my pregnancy with Chickapea — my tummy is just too big to fit into my various maternity pants options anymore! I’m much more comfortable wearing a dress with these underneath along with a cardigan and boots.
(A versatile pair of flats is also recommended. I found my very comfortable Bandalino ballet flats at the thrift store. See my Mutu post for info on why you want zero positive tilt/no heels in order to give your core a break during pregnancy.)
One “occasion” dress
I got extremely lucky and came upon this high-waisted dress with a flowy skirt — not actually a maternity dress — that fits me from 0-7 months pregnant (pictured here at 0 so you can see what’s going on: the sash provides the shape for the dress, which gives it lots of flexibility. Most of my friends have now seen me in this outfit, as I have sported it to many different events at various stages of being with child/having child in arms). The huge bonus: the crossover neckline actually allows for nursing. It is the holy grail of cocktail dresses. If you come upon something like this, buy it.
In general, look for things that are flowy/stretchy and feature high waists. It’s more affordable to get a normal dress that happens to work for pregnancy than to go to the maternity retailers for one. Something that can be accessorized different ways is a plus!
Adjustable belt
Many different tops and sweaters can be turned into “maternity” tops if they’ve been strategically cinched above the bump. The catch here is to find a belt that works on one’s ribcage, when most belts are designed for the belt loops of pants. So keep an eye out and if you ever find an adjusting belt (the kind that won’t have a huge tail sticking off the end when you move it up over a pregnant tummy) – buy it! Then you have the flexibility to turn various different tops into pregnancy-friendly looks.
This is especially helpful when you’re at that early, borderline phase (“is she or isn’t she…?”) — emphasize it with a belt!
Bathing Suit
Old Navy
This is something you’re going to have to buy maternity. If you plan on swimming during your pregnancy (and it is lovely and liberating exercise for the expectant mom), go ahead and make this investment. Maybe keep an eye on sites like Zulily to find a good deal? I do recommend a tankini, so that you can easily use the bathroom (which you’ll have to do approximately one thundred times a day while pregnant), but make sure that the top is going to reach all the way around your belly even when you’re really sticking out there.
Coobie Bra
Speaking of investments, this Coobie bra is another smart one. I received one as a gift and it is the comfiest thing ever. It holds up extremely well — after over three years of wearing it constantly any time it anytime it didn’t have to be washed (and note that I’ve nursed two babies during that time period!), mine is only now giving out on me. So flexible and comfortable! Especially when you reach that point of pregnancy when all your clothes seem to be conspiring against you, this standby item is a relief.
Maternity Shorts
Again, depending on the seasonal span of your pregnancy, one pair of shorts might be worth the investment. I have just one pair that I leaned on heavily during my pregnancy with Finnabee, which went well into the summer in DC.
Other hot weather maternity items: a few maternity tops to rotate with the shorts, some breezy dresses (again, these don’t necessarily have to be maternity in order to work over a big baby belly), and a pair of maternity capris were all I needed.
Maternity Jeans
Old Navy
If finding jeans is hard enough, is finding maternity jeans impossible? Again, they’re one of those staple items… I avoided this search during my first pregnancy (thanks to the weather, the B-band, and the options mentioned immediately above), but last time around and this time I definitely just needed go-to pants. I ended up finding mine by using ThreadUp, ordering a bunch of pairs, trying them on at home, and using the ‘free returns’ policy to send back the ones I didn’t like. A pretty affordable way to go about finding an item that does have to be very particular to one’s personal needs!
Other cold weather maternity items to look for: maternity coat, a couple long-sleeved maternity shirts, sweaters (open front/drapey sweaters might work, or long/oversized sweaters; this doesn’t necessarily have to be a maternity item), cardigans (remember, you don’t have to button them! Or you can just button one or two buttons above your bump and leave the rest).
Miscellaneous:
A good water bottle
You’ll be needing to hydrate – a LOT. If you’re on the go or if you have trouble remembering to refill your water glass, a water bottle might be a good choice for you. I like my Nalgene that I’ve had since college. Suki recommends this Contigo Cortland bottle because it can be used one-handed, but it’s pretty leakproof and little ones can’t unlatch it on their own. (Hers was cheaper when she bought it; maybe you can find one for a better deal somewhere else?)
A body pillow
Suki says: Some ladies love their pregnancy pillows. I’ve never tried one {neither have I -D}, but they’re expensive and they seem to take up a whole lot of space in the bed. With Desmond I just used a plain old double-length pillow (like this). It eased my hip/pelvic pain a lot, and I slept way better.
{The Amazon links in this post are affiliate links — thanks for shopping with us!}
What are the indispensable items you rely on during pregnancy?
Related posts:
Plain Cooking: Surviving Morning Sickness and More
Postpartum Does Not Mean One Day After the Baby Comes
What Does Nursing the Baby Mean? And Readers’ Tips (packed with practical, detailed advice and troubleshooting!)
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