perspective
In too many places across the internet, there is negativity and malice. Often it is simply because two people do not agree and the words – written, not spoken – used to voice that disagreement are harsh and unpleasant.
How is that we have come to a place in society where people are unafraid of hurting feelings, or unwilling to acknowledge another's perspective? How is that we argue vehemently with our fingers on keyboards, never recognizing there is another person reading those words? Where did respect for another and healthy disagreement go?
Instant access and the breaking down of societal barriers have helped lead us here. Experts are no longer separated from the masses, rather they are engaged with them, more as equals than experts. In fact, it is rare, in my opinion, to see an expert that truly stands above the herd. Most are now right there in the middle of it, engaging in a way they never did before.
Has social media torn down the "expert" wall? Has it equalized all, creating a social mess that needs to be cleaned up? Or is it merely the new societal order?
There are many things that have contributed to this new social order, if you will. One of them is the fact that "experts" are no longer put on a pedestal, they are no longer unreachable. It seems, instead, the power has shifted to the "regular" people, the people who once idolized the experts. No longer can experts proclaim and assume that proclamation will be accepted as fact. Even Seth Godin (who is the closest thing to an "expert" in his genre, for me) is challenged by non-experts. It's a shifting landscape that is creating tension while we become accustomed to it.
Experts are people who have worked long and hard to become leaders in their respective fields. They have done something amazing, invented something life changing, been around long enough to understand the trends, or have some other characteristic/credential that sets them as expert. And because these people are not new to their field, because they are typically considered exceptional and they have been treated as such, this new social engagement can't help but be confusing.
The advantage to this power shift is that we can all engage in the conversation now. If you are on twitter, you can respond directly to Seth Godin and he may just respond back to you. For some, engaging a celebrity and creating a conversation (getting that @ reply from them) is exciting and exhilarating, especially because that never would have happened just a short time ago.
I experienced this just yesterday when I used the @name convention to get in touch with someone I've never actually met. I did not expect a response, but figured I would try. And I did get a reply and an invitation to chat further on the phone. I don't this would have happened before. And I don't know that I would have had the courage to try.
It is the combination of those two things – experts are engaged with us and we are no longer afraid to engage them – that breaks the walls down and gives all an equal voice.
The key to establishing, and then building, a relationship with the experts is to approach with respect and humility, never expecting anything in return. Think about how you feel when you are approached, out of the blue, by someone expecting something from you. How do you react? I know that I get my back up and feel disrespected at times. (Not that I'm an expert, by any means). This is actually pretty good advice for all your relationships, but we're taking about experts right now.
Relationships are about territory. All relationships.
When you come into another person's territory (field of expertise for example) and bungle about like a bull in a china shop, you will likely not get the return you had hoped for. And while you might feel that you are somehow entitled to a response (you're not, by the way), from your point of view you are. Instead of thinking about what you want, why not think about what you can offer? After all, an approach based on a willingness to give is much more likely to accepted than one based solely on the desire to take. It is no different than making the approach in person (minus the bodyguards, of course).
It's all about perspective – the one you offer and the one they have. Everyone has a different perspective on the same event. Being respectful and mindful of the other's point of view will get you much farther than simply asserting your voice as the only one.
Take a chance today, reach out to a hero, an expert, someone you admire – they just might @reply in kind.
