Review of Memoir, Banged Up Heart by Shirley Melis: A WOW Blog Tour
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” ~Norman Cousins
I am happy to participate in Shirley Melis’ WOW Women on Writing Blog Tour. Grief is an emotion we all have to face. I decided to read and review this memoir because I was intrigued by the concept of dancing after suffering the devastating loss of not one but two beloved husbands. I did take the risk to love again but I was moving away from abusive relationships, not grieving the loss of the love of my life. I had to find out how the author managed to not only survive but thrive after enduring such heartache.
First, the book:
Genre
Memoir / Non Fiction
Amazon Link
https://www.amazon.com/Banged-Up-Heart-Dancing-Love-Loss/dp/193828870X /?tag=wowwomenonwri-20
Goodreads Link
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32145012-banged-up-heart?
About the Book:
Banged-Up Heart is an intimate and clear-eyed account of finding love late and losing it early—and of the strength it takes to fall deeply in love a second time, be forced to relinquish that love too soon, and yet choose to love again.
When her husband of thirty years dies suddenly, Shirley Melis is convinced she will never find another man like Joe. Then she meets John, a younger man who tells her during their first conversation that he has lived for many years with a rare but manageable cancer. She is swept off her feet in a whirlwind courtship, and within months, made brave by the early death of a friend’s husband, she asks him to marry her! What follows is a year-long odyssey of travel and a growing erotic and creative partnership— until a mysterious bump on John’s forehead proves to be one of several tumors in his brain and spine.
The nine months that follow are filled with a life-threatening infection, three brain surgeries, radiation, and chemotherapy. Two years and one week after their wedding, John dies at the age of fifty-nine. More than just a love story or a memoir of mourning, Banged-Up Heart comes down solidly on the side of life. It takes you deep inside an ordinary woman, her deeply felt grief butting up against her desire for more than companionship: passion, sexual fulfillment, and self-realization. It bears eloquent witness to the wild trust it takes to fall madly in love and risk profound loss—a second time. Ultimately, it shows that it is possible to dance with a banged-up heart.
About Shirley
Shirley Melis is a longtime business writer, travel writer, and newspaper columnist who traveled the world interviewing everyone from busboys to heads of international organizations before launching a career in public relations in Washington, D.C. With Banged-Up Heart, she now takes her writing in a new direction, delving deeply into her own personal story of finding love late, losing it early, and discovering the strength to choose to love again. It is a fascinating odyssey, a journey both creative and erotic as Shirley and John work lovingly together to blend their dreams—until a mysterious bump on his forehead starts them on a tragic struggle against the dark hand of fate.
A graduate of Vassar, Shirley Melis has created an intimate memoir bearing eloquent witness to the kind of wild trust that can grow in the heart of an ordinary woman thrust into circumstances that few others must face. Now retired, she lives in Galisteo, New Mexico.
My Review:
Living and loving again after a devastating loss is the main theme in Banged-Up Heart. This fast-paced memoir reads like a romance novel only with a powerful universal message for anyone who faces the loss of a beloved spouse, in this case two spouses within a span of four years. The pace slows as she reaches levels of awareness in her grief journey. There is life again after loss. I felt engaged in this story from the first page.
Melis’ writing is fluid and vivid with realistic dialogue, believable characters and a well-paced plot that kept me in suspense. The narrative is enriched with layers of introspection that connected me to my own story. Though my story is different in that I left two emotionally abusive marriages and spent years being single-again. But, the specifics don’t matter as much as the underlying message that a willingness to take a risk to love again can lead to a full and satisfying life. Melis showed me how taking a chance on love again and so soon after a loss can indeed yield positive results.
The most endearing part of this memoir for me was the author’s courage in living life to the fullest despite the risks. While her outer journey of losing two spouses in a short period of time is compelling, it was her skill in revealing her inner journey where she questions her choices and reflects on her own actions and responses that kept me turning the pages. She showed me how she “stepped out of her cocoon of grief and found joy in just being alive.”
Loss is something we all have to face eventually. For those who are engulfed in their own sea of grief, this memoir will offer hope that it is possible to move on. For others, as myself, it offered me a chance to reflect on how I will face my own grief should I lose the love of my life. At the end of the book, she offers a series of questions to further explore her theme which makes it an excellent guide for a book club discussion.
A relevant,compelling and thoroughly enjoyable read. I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to explore their own relationship to loss and grief, as well as a guide for grief support groups.
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WOW! Blog Tour Schedule for Shirley Melis’ Banged Up Heart:
Feb 13 @ The Muffin
Interview and giveaway.
http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/
Feb 14 @ Lisa Haselton
Shirley Melis is being interviewed today by Lisa Haselton. Stop at Lisa’s blog to learn more about Banged Up Heart, a non-fiction, memoir, about finding the courage and strength to love again.
http://lisahaseltonsreviewsandinterviews.blogspot.com/
Feb 15 @ Bring on Lemons with Michelle DelPonte
Michelle DelPonte shares her review of Shirley Melis’s Banged Up Heart today at Bring on Lemons. Don’t miss this exciting blog stop and book giveaway.
http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/
Feb 16 @ Choices with Madeline Sharples
Fellow memoir writer Madeline Sharples interviews Shirley Melis about her book Banged Up Heart. Don’t miss this heart felt interview about courage and love.
Feb 17 @ Jerry Waxler
Coach and Author Jerry Waxler shares his thoughts after reading Shirley Melis’s memoir Banged Up Heart.
Feb 20 @ Bring on Lemons with Crystal Otto
Crystal J. Casavant-Otto shares her review after reading the touching and inspiring memoir Banged Up Heart by Shirley Melis.
http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/
Feb 21 @ Deb Blanchard
Teacher Deb Blanchard gives insight into “Banged Up Heart” the touching memoir by Shirley Melis.
https://www.facebook.com/Reviews-by-Deb-1737715249887520/
Feb 22 @ Bring on Lemons with Angela Williams
Angela Williams reviews Shirley Melis’s Banged Up Heart.
http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/
Feb 23 @ Linda Appleman Shapiro
Don’t miss today’s interview between memoirist Linda Appleman Shapiro and Shirley Melis. Find out more about Melis and her memoir Banged Up Heart.
Feb 23 @ Writer’s Pay it Forward
MC Simon interviews Shirley Melis about Banged Up Heart for readers at Writers Pay it Forward. Don’t miss this courageous memoir.
http://writerspayitforward.com/
Feb 24 @ Memoir Writers Journey with Kathleen Pooler
Kathleen Pooler shares her thoughts with readers of Memoir Writer’s Journey – find out what Pooler has to say about Shirley Melis’s memoir Banged Up Heart.
Feb 27 @ Bring on Lemons with Cathy Hansen
Educator and Entrepreneur Cathy Hansen reads and reviews Banged Up Heart by Shirley Melis. You’ll want to stop by Bring On Lemons today for your chance to learn more about this touching and encouraging memoir.
http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/
Feb 28 @ Bring on Lemons with Cindi Ashbeck
Cindi Ashbeck shares her thoughts after reading the touching story Banged Up Heart by Shirley Melis.
http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/
March 1 @ Bring on Lemons with Penny Harrison
Wisconsin business owner and avid reader Penny Harrison shares her thoughts and feelings about Shirley Melis’s memoir Banged Up Heart.
http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/
March 2 @ Book Santa Fe with Tange Dudet
Avid reader and book enthusiast Tange Dudet shares her thoughts and feelings after reading the touching memoir Banged Up Heart by Shirley Melis.
March 3 @ The Constant Story with David W. Berner
Author and radio personality David W Berner reviews Shirley Melis’s book Banged Up Heart and shares his thoughts with readers at The Constant Story.
http://davidwberner.blogspot.com/
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How about you? How do you feel about risking love again when you lose someone so dear to you?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
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Next Week:
Monday, 2/27/17:
“Writing the Story of My Heart: Memoir Writing Tips”
February 2017 Newsletter: Updates, Memoir Musings, Max Moments:
“A Time of Purification”
