Rather a Radical Rewrite

(Being a rewrite of First 1,064 Words of Rough Draft)

The first stage of this rewrite is a Thought Edit that goes like this:

“Instead of saying: “Adam knew Gwen liked him.” instead say: “Between classes, Gwen was always leaned on his locker when he’d go to open it.  She’d roll her eyes and shove off with one foot, leaving a black-heel mark on the painted metal, but she also left the smell of her perfume.  The combination lock would still be warm from her ass.  And the next break, Gwen would b...