Books That Changed My Life: Learning How to Write Out Loud

We’ve started a new blog series where NaNoWriMo participants can share their experiences with books that have changed their writing–and their world-views–for the better. And what better way to kick off a new series than to continue celebrating Black History Month? Today, TommehBell, Municipal Liaison for the USA :: North Carolina :: Triad region, shares her thoughts on a book that helped her embrace her voice and identity:

I took my first creative writing class as a sophomore in high school. It was at the local community college and my mom had to drop me off because I didn’t have a car yet. 

I’d rewritten “Sleeping Beauty” with a black girl as Briar Rose and I was rather excited to read it in front of the class. My voice quivered and sweat dripped down into my bra. (Boob sweat is the worst, am I right?) I managed to make it all the way to the end without fainting. 

The class gave me a round of polite applause before the critique began. A girl in the middle row threw her hand into the air: “It’s a decent story but black girls don’t really act like that.” I’m sure the rest of the class went on to say things I needed to hear, but that first comment was all that I took in. I never went back to that class. I stopped writing for nearly two years.

The first time I read The Coldest Winter Ever by Sister Soulja, I was a senior in high school, ready to cut the apron strings and experience the world as an adult. Being a hip-hop head of course I’d heard of Sister Soulja and I enjoyed her flow. I’ve always had a thing for female MCs. The way a woman rocks the mic gets me out of my seat each and every time. It was by chance that I picked up The Coldest Winter Ever. I was searching for Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and the purple cover of CWE caught my eye. I’m an avid reader, and I devour books like air, and the first time I cracked the spine of CWE I was struck speechless.

“I held a book that not only featured a cast of black people, but at its core was a book that didn’t apologize for being black.”

I skipped school to read the book and then reread it all in one sitting. Sister Soulja penned a tale that changed the course of my writing journey. I held a book that not only featured a cast of black people, but at its core was a book that didn’t apologize for being black. It wasn’t a fairy tale with a prince and a happily ever after. The main character did a lot of people dirty–including her family–and got her comeuppance in the end. You felt sorry that she did and then you felt bad that you cheered for her downfall.

The book opens with the main character describing her birth: “I came busting out of my momma’s big coochie January 28, 1977.” It was the coldest winter in record history, hence her moniker. Winter Santiaga, Brooklyn born and bred, is a true product of the game. Born from the school of hard knocks, she is a hustler first and a diva second. Much like Henry in Goodfellas she learned the game sitting at the feet of her father, a kingpin of the drug game in the early 80s and 90s. Ricky Santiaga was the man to know, love, and work for if you wanted the good and easy life in the projects of New York. Winter’s attitude punches you square in the jaw on page one and the ride never goes smooth.  

Before reading about Winter, I wanted my black characters to be ideal characters. I wanted them to fit into the white ideal I had spent my childhood reading about. I wanted them to be princesses, and damsels in distress. I wanted Prince Charmings and bold magicians. I wanted great characters that happened to be black. I thought it was a recipe for success. I was quickly informed that black characters aren’t princesses, and we can’t be Prince Charmings.

The Coldest Winter Ever helped me to write out loud. Winter helped me get over trying to shed the bad about being black. It helped me to write characters that are black and proud; characters that are bad and boujee or Harvard educated. I don’t have to play by society’s and literature’s rules about black characters. It showed me that I can use my authentic writer voice and that I don’t have to censure and erase my characters for mass consumption. I don’t need to write my characters in a certain way to help them cross over. Winter showed me that I can let my characters be themselves, no matter what anyone thinks.

TommehBell wrote her first story after she watched Michael Jackson moonwalk across her TV screen. She grew up in Germany as the oldest child of military parents. In 2010 she penned her first NaNo novel and the following year she became an ML and site mod. Since that first NaNo attempt Tommeh has received her BA and her first Masters. Currently she is working on a library science and information Masters and getting her MA manuscript published.
You can follow her on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram.

Top photo by Flickr user Leo Reynolds.