Children of the Future

Paranormal mystery? Or simply ordinary?
Jane Suen

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Think of Children of the Future as X-Files Lite. Author Jane Suen presents readers with a mystery—the children and teachers in Rocky Flats’ rural school disappear without a trace. Her hero, Telly, frantically tracks them down with the help of Billy, the school’s lone survivor.

Throw in footprints that stop suddenly in a clearing, a remote warehouse filled with black SUVs, citizens convinced the students were abducted by aliens and readers begin to wonder if ET will appear before the book ends. (No spoiler alert here, Suen’s wants you to wonder.)

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Jane Suen’s inaugural novel features a frantic bus driver and a school whose students disappear.

Telly, the school’s bus driver, grows more and more frantic as each lead crumbles to dust. While police organize search parties and grids, he drives farther and farther from Rocky Flats looking for answers. When everyone believes they’ve solved the mystery, someone abducts Telly.

Suen creates a tight storyline, with plenty of tension in the beat points. When the abductors finally appear, however, her tightly constructed narrative deflates—at least for readers who demand a sharper edge. Those who prefer sugar-coated endings won’t notice.

Readers may also find themselves puzzled by the novel’s last chapter, more so perhaps the last paragraph. Suen tosses in a closing so abrupt, so out of character for her writing, readers may wonder (as I do) if the eBook file didn’t drop a few pages.

That single last paragraph, however, might also turn the book around like a Twilight Zone twist ending, and make readers rethink her narrative. If this were her intention, her novice writing skills undermined the outcome.

Children of the Future showcases Suen’s inexperience in almost every respect. Her prose is dull, dull, dull. Very little dialogue, full page paragraphs, and (when she uses it) stumbling dialogue. She forces readers to plod through wearisome salutations in every scene (“Hello,Telly,” Hello, Sally”), unnecessary information and segues (“Bye. I’m leaving now.”) and constant replays of earlier scenes as the characters ceaselessly update each other on the past few pages.

We might be able to forgive Suen—it’s her first book—but too many other first novels deliver compelling prose and vivid characterizations. Reading Children of the Future made me appreciate the complaints of reviewers who want overly restrictive gatekeepers to screen indie writers.

Suen can craft a good outline, but she needs a good editor or time with experienced writers who won’t simply pat her on the back for her efforts so far. Suen can craft a good outline, but she needs a good editor or time with experienced writers who won’t simply pat her on the back for her efforts so far. I hope she does. Where her talent breaks through, it shines. With a good mentor, I think she’ll produce four-star indie thrillers.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t read Children of the Future; I’m saying if you read books for scintillating prose as well as the story, you’ll probably close this one after the second or third chapter.

Download the sample. If you can tolerate her narrative style, you’ll like the book. If her writing annoys you as much as it did me, it won’t be worth the effort to finish the book.

I posted this review as a contribution to the premiere of #MysteryThrillerWeek. Join the fun.

Rating system:



2 Ts
Delicious dialogue, crisp prose, clever characters & compelling plot. (5 stars)


Fist
Great read, won’t want to stop. Some reviewers rate this 5 stars. (4 stars)


Okay
 Worth buying, but…. (3 stars)


Meh…
I’ll tell you what audience will like this, but other readers might want to look elsewhere. (2 stars)


Shoot
If I review a book this bad, I felt seriously compelled to warn you. (1 star)



Phillip T. Stephens is the author of Cigerets, Guns & Beer, Raising Hell and the new release Seeing Jesus. You can follow him @stephens_pt.

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