How Not To Do Your French Visa

​As it turns out, I do have the right to do my French visa in Tunisia. What a great advantage. While listening to the local imam bellowing and the dogs howling one day, I could only hope that right would be a quick one. I should have continued dreaming.
 
In Tunisia, France has decided that they need to use a private group rather than doing things themselves. Other countries followed along, and pretty soon you had one private group doing the work for several embassies.
 
When the group started, it was apparently an excellent option for people. There were appointments scheduled, a small fee accepted, and people were advised if they had the proper paperwork and a chance to get their visa.
 
Things have changed.
 
Someone realized that by charging a 68TDN fee for each person meant money – and a lot of it. Consequently, the doors were opened and people started pouring in, mostly to receive rejections after of course paying their fees.
 
I learned that there are two types of visas: long-term visitor and one based on my marital status. You would think the later would be the better option, but not in France. In France, apparently you have to go through all sorts of gyrations with one’s marriage license – which we don’t have. I ordered an expedited marriage license, which arrived at my parents’ house very quickly. However, I also ordered an expedited birth certificate at the same time to be sent to the same place. Over a month later, I am still waiting. The excuse? It’s coming from Louisiana, which is by far a third-world country. Sending an expedited birth certificate from New Orleans to northern Louisiana was after all an incredibly difficult procedure.
 
Without the proper documentation, we needed to do a long-term visitor visa. Oddly enough, if one does the visa in Tunis, it is different than in Washington D.C., which is different than Houston… I still cannot understand why each of these places has different requirements if it’s the same country. Yet, trying to understand is a waste of time. Apparently it makes sense to someone.
 
I needed something to prove I am not a criminal – something not required in D.C., but required in Houston and in Tunisia. So I got a copy here in Tunisia stating I am completely crime-free. It took them a week and they did an international check. I always worry someone else has my same name and is doing mischief around the world. It looks like I needn’t have worried.
 
I also needed health insurance so the country won’t have to pay anything in the event that I drop dead from different visa requirements.
 
Loaded with a two-inch thick dossier that proves I work online and won’t need their money, along with all other requirements, I scheduled an appointment for a long-term visitor visa and headed to the company for processing.
 
What ensued was beyond chaos.